For those of you back in the US, I want you to imagine having people come up to your car window to beg - multiple times each day. It is an interesting phenomenon that I have discussed before. More on it....
Seeing people who are in India for the first time experience this is interesting. It's almost universally traumatic. I have seen a man of more than 50 years look into the back seat where I was sitting and say, "Help" in an almost child-like voice. He spent a good part of the rest of the afternoon asking me who took care of this old woman, how could she have ended up like that, etc. This man, an extremely gentle and devout guy, was truly upset by it.
We were recently upset when Jonah declared, "I hate poor people." He said it very matter-of-factly. We spent time telling him that was a wrong thing to say, but to him, they are dirty, annoying, a bit frightening, and generally unlikeable. I cannot say I related to what he said and how he thinks underneath the comment, but I can understand full well how he could arrive at that conclusion through his simple lens of a six year old mind.
Tara sometimes carries "biscuits" (cookies) to give to the poor children, as money in many cases compounds their problems and contributes to their exploitation. Once recently, an old woman came to our car begging. I opened the window and gave her a small bag of cookies. The look on her face was of great disappointment, but it was a very funny look. Tara, I and the driver laughed spontaneously. Tara and I were quickly embarrassed by our reaction and stopped laughing. But, it was honestly very funny.
There is an extremely dark side to the begging culture - some have their arms chopped off as babies to ensure a greater income as a beggar, shocking the driving community into greater giving. It is routine to see people without one or both legs, without one or both arms, there is even one guy with his right leg draped over the back of his neck, completely useless. Many have bandages with fake blood smeared all over it on their heads. In response to this, your mind learns to accommodate it. It is surely a hardening of the heart, but you do get accustomed to them coming to the window, and you do learn to ignore them for the most part.
When they have a true item to sell, I do business with them. We have a device shaped like a tennis racket that, when charged, can be used to electrocute mosquitoes in the air. Got it on the street after the guy selling it gave a demo by sticking a nail into the electrified webbing of the device, causing sparks. We also purchased about ten Santa hats on the streets this Christmas season. And as I get more confident in my Hindi, I love to roll down the window and ask, "Kitna hai?" and respond to the elevated price that is asked of a foreigner, "Nahi, bahut ziyaada hai, mera dost. Best price kya hai?!" They get a kick out of it, as do I. Bartering done during the duration of a red light, smiles all around.
We have given money, but that is honestly not the best thing to do. The actual scene of the donation can get scary, and it perpetuates the system of begging. But I am sure we will, unwisely, give a few rupees again.....
Many of the begging people look like each other, they are sometimes an extended family. You get to know some of them by sight. We have even had discussions where Tara was explaining to me where something was, and she said, "...you take a left at the intersection where the guy with the leg is. The one with the leg on the neck."
Aidan, in characteristic fashion, has a soft heart for them. Sometimes he reminds us to buy something at the market for them.
Liam is bothered by most things, including those who beg from us.
I took the picture above, and it was an interesting moment. When I put my window down and took the picture, the man (seeking to sell us queue tips) and the woman (with sleeping baby she kept pointing to and gesturing to her mouth [my baby is hungry]) both smiled a little bit. The woman tried to hold it back. The guy was truly smiling, though.
It is amazing how deep and widespread the poverty here is. There is probably a great deal of waxing eloquently I could do about it. But I'll leave it at this - there is a great deal of it and it is sad, and perhaps even more sad is the fact we are very used to it. It's like seeing the sun in the sky or the water come out of the faucet - it's how things are.
