Vermont

Day 10...




We are in Vermont now. It's great.

We had a neat experience last night. As I have stated, we have been moving around so much and living out of suitcases such that we have not really settled down and had time to let America sink in..... at least not properly.

So, last night we went to The Owl in New Haven. The picture you see below is when it was not-yet-hip. The Owl used to see chess boards and tobacco - and very little else. Back when we were dating, Tara bought me a carved Balinese chessboard from this place. Yes, a chessboard from Bali, of all places. Remember, I gave Tara a peacock feather as my first gift to her. Perhaps our entire courtship was a foreshadow of our life to-come.

Maybe.

Anyway.....




Cool, eclectic crowd, great surroundings, everyone enjoying a form of tobacco that was to their liking..... it was great. And it was smack in the middle of downtown New Haven, a once-sad area that is achieving a certain amount of regeneration, almost to the point that we really like going there. I am glad to see the change!

We just sat back as I puffed an Ashton and Tara enjoyed a wine. The people watching was good and the environment humming. Great music from the golden age of the Brat Pack - Sinatra, Sammy Davis. Awesome all around.

I turned to her and said, "Right now, I am glad to be back." It was a scene not easily replicated in India, and after we finished I was going to drive us home in our own car through streets that were generally sane.

It was nice to have that feeling. It was a bit overdue.

I also enjoyed watching baseball, I think the Yankees were playing the Minnesota Twins. It was a replay of the actual game from earlier in the day.

All things clicked together in a way that finally felt somewhat right.

To all of our friends back in India and points elsewhere on the globe - we really miss you and being back in India in so many ways. Keep enjoying yourselves!

IKEA

Day 9...

OK, now things took a bit of an odd turn today.

In the ongoing effort to analyze how to redecorate our house, we went to the IKEA store today in New Haven. It's not that the place wasn't good, it was ok. Just ok. We probably won't buy anything from there for our house.

But it was the nature of the shopping experience that gets you.

They trap you.

IKEA is a Swedish company that sells minimalist, Europeanesque items at a slight discount because you have to assemble the furniture yourself. That summary is the the uninitiated, of which there are probably only a few amongst our blog readers.

Here's what I mean by "they trap you". You walk around the store, look at a few items and them walk on. If you, like we, are ready to leave about half way through the store, that's too bad. You have to walk through the rest of the store on the way to the exit.

As we walked along, it occurred to me that the business model of this company presumed that humans could be made to mimic lab rats. And they have achieved the perfect plan to achieve that - make the exit at the end of the maze.

Now, I don't begrudge anyone their business model. IKEA is a good company in many ways, for sure. But this was a bit strong handed. After the cowskin rugs (which we liked), we were ready to leave and had formed our opinion of IKEA such that we were not going to seek one out in North Carolina. But we had to walk past the greenhouse, carpets, and outdoor furniture sections before we were permitted to get out of the store. It was different.

We saw an Amish family at IKEA. I was as puzzled by their presence there as I am about why "Amish" is an option on FaceBook's pull-down menu for religious affiliation. Are they changing? I guess so.....

And where do they live in this very expensive and densely-populated state that has very little farm land?

And such was our day today.

We'll be back soon for a lengthy stay in a couple of weeks, I'll explore New Haven in greater depth. It is the city where Tara and I fell in love, so it is special to us. And it has become almost hip in the last five years, so we're really enjoying it.

Onward.....

Day 8...

We have arrived in Connecticut.

A friend reached out to me and told me not to fight the difficulties I am having with the return to the Land o' Plenty. I am not ignoring them and thanks for the support and guidance about your own post-expat experience. It'll be a balance and it felt like the right thing to do, pulling back from the cynicism. And I take your point - I was definitely hard on Hyderabad and India *alot* on this blog.

Anyway, we are continuing to move forward in the journey to see family. We are in New Haven, Ct. now. This is the home of Yale University, an impressive place. The pictures are below, including of our favorite spot in the city - The Owl Pipe and Tobacco Shop. Soon to be visited by us.....

Here's an interesting observation - what is an indication that someone has never been to the Third World? Answer - they ask what kind of dog Ashoka is....

We have been asked countless times what kind of dog Ashoka is. It's hard to explain that there are millions of dogs roaming the streets of India and no one owns them and they have been breeding freely for thousands of years - or at least hundreds. In the eyes of a few people there is a general look like I was heading into a punch line of the joke. Then it clicks. But one person actually pushed and said, "But it's a mix of what two types of dog?" That's when I pull out "Well, he's actually from a breed called gali ka kutta. It's a very old Indian breed." Then the conversation and awkwardness can end.

Gali ka kutta means street dog in Hindi.

We are all well and trucking along.

The journey continues

Day 7...



Writing to you from Philly, here for the night.

I have rightly received some guidance to think through my recent spates of negativity on the blog - spot on, I was getting negative. No one benefits from negativity. The US, Charlotte and my fellow Americans have always been overwhelmingly good to me..... so, enough reflections for now on their potential excesses and shortcomings.

It is true that whenever you point a finger at others, your other four are pointing back at you.

The above picture is a view that gives you a sense of what we stared at all day today.

It was a largely uneventful drive today, but I did have many hours during which to do a little soul searching on America. It is a verdant land - we enjoyed driving ourselves through the Blue Ridge Mountains and into Pennsylvania. Really nice. It is really an accomplishment to have created a country with this kind of infrastructure. Additionally, we were struck with the open spaces and the vastly lower density of humanity. There's a general feeling of openness all around.

It's calming.

In some ways, we are a little sad that life may be a bit less interesting for a while. But I came to a realization about my thinking during the drive today.

India was fascinating because it was so different. But had I only known India my whole life and my entire worldview had been formed from the perspective of someone who knew only a place like India.... I would have hungered for what America has to offer. But, alas, I was born here and the fantastic things this country offers seem mundane due to the familiar nature of it. Also, there's this extra layer of all of it still seeming somewhat non-mundane right now.

In the apartment complex next to the hotel where we stayed there is a considerable amount of young Indian people. They are here working for the Banks. I took a walk through their apartment complex at least once a day with Ashoka. I saw young Indian professionals playing tennis on the weekend. They were driving into and out of the complex in Mini Cooper cars during the week. The young women were wearing nice clothes and living independently for the first time in their lives, perhaps in a way that would have been unthinkable in India. Young guys were walking through in small groups having a good time. Others were chatting on mobile phones out on their porches.

And, without exception, they looked pretty excited to be there.

They could have been from Chennai, Mumbai, Hyderabad, Delhi - who knows. But without a doubt, they were dealing with amenities, air quality, freedom, square footage and many other things which would not have been in the realm of possibility back in India, regardless of which class and caste they may have been in back there.

It was a nice chance to reflect on America through their eyes. The US is a place that remains a major destination of choice for those seeking a better life, and for that we should feel good. This is indeed an exceptional land.

So, the emotional roller coaster has indeed launched. We're still figuring things out about how to leave behind something we enjoyed so much and learned so much from.... all the time remembering what a unique privilege it is to enjoy a sunny day with a clean sky overhead, all the wile surrounded by green trees and open spaces in America.

Thanks for the snap back to reality, my special friend.

The journey northward

FROM

TO

Day 6...

We're spending today getting prepared for our trip up north to see our families. That is tomorrow. It is a yearly migration that we make and this one promises to be as long and boring a drive as any of the prior years.

We spent the day getting the kids some new clothes, getting Aidan's forms for camp, visiting the house, and taking care of various other activities.

We will be having dinner with our friends from Hyderabad, the Gangadhars. Krishnan, Indu, Tejus and Nikil will join us at Little Italy.... oops, I meant Brixx Pizza on East Boulevard. I'll take pictures.

So, I have a moment of downtime, let me reflect on the return. Thus far, we have been both very busy, as well as very bored, but being bored in a hotel is different. You can just sack out and be in a hotel.

It has been nice in some ways. It is honestly refreshing to be in a place that is as clean as Charlotte after India. And Charlotte is very clean, even by American standards. Also, it has been good to see friends. We have always had good connections here, and it was a pleasure to see some old acquaintances. Certainly much more of that to come......

On the other hand, there is a certain ennui that we have felt since being here. Everything is the same as it was when we left, for the most part. And that is a bit.... I am not sure how to say it..... unsettling? How could everything still be the same? Doesn't everyone know that everything is different?

Sure, there are new buildings, and various kids got a good bit bigger, and David Caldwell has hair down to his shoulders (looks good, David!). But the rest of it..... the same?



It is thoughts like those which we are having but don't make sense, even to us. It's a bit strange.

Additionally, this is a place of abundance such that it borders on alarming. I mean there is no issue getting virtually *anything* here in the US. We have so much that it is also exploding many of our fellow citizens, albeit slowly. We have seen too many children since we have been back that are just sad testimonies to their parents' guidance and the larger culture's excesses. Wow.



The hotel we are in serves breakfast and dinner. We have eaten here most nights, although we enjoyed Ru San's sushi last night.

During the dinner, various of our portly compatriots settle in front of massive plates of chicken wings, fries, etc. I mentioned to Tara how imbalanced a world is that has people like we saw on the streets in India and then people such as those in front of us. She stated something that really surprised me....

"The worst part is, this isn't even dinner for these people." She stated that she believes that a mountainous plate of wings at "happy hour" is never considered the last word on eating during the average day for many of our fellow Americans.

I contested her point, a little incredulous at her idea, but she worked in the medical field and learned a great deal about such things.

So, that was depressing.



I don't want to seem negative. We are enjoying being back and there are many beautiful things for which are grateful. But certain things are screaming at us right now after being away from it for such a long time.

The house will need some work, but it actually looks great. Better than I expected.

First thing when we get back, I'll take a series of pictures for the blog's "before" effect. With Tara's big plans, virtually all of which should get completed within the first 100 days back - we should have some "after" pictures for the blog soon.

Her plans are pretty awesome, so it should work out. Among the more ambitious plans that she has is to double the width of a door off of the den. We're thinking maybe we could smash the wall out ourselves? That could be either an extremely daring and impressive effort, or the most foolhardy thing we've ever done. I believe we'll back off of that plan, but we'll see.

In all honest, we've been too distracted to really let life in the US sink back into us. I trust the observations will become a bit more meaningful as time passes.

Church

We went to church this morning. It was nice to see everyone and get reconnected. During the last two years, we have been in various European churches that are more or less museums these days, as well as modern churches in India that are like attending a rock concert. It was nice to get back to a living, vital church that isn't intent on blasting your ear drums, as well as connecting with friends.

Small service, as the July 4th weekend is perhaps the number two or three vacation time for Americans.

Good to see everyone at Selwyn, see you all in August!

July 4th

Independence Day - Day 5...



We spent July 4th with friends and enjoyed ourselves greatly. We made the pilgrimage to Carmel Country Club's greens to watch their fireworks display, right on the edge of our neighborhood. It was nice, but I only stayed for a few minutes, because Ashoka was freaking out. It was pretty bad, so I took him away from the event. I suppose this is all a bit much for him and huge booms and a flashing sky - well, it tipped him over the edge.

Below are some pictures of our visit to the Farmer's Market here in Charlotte. There are a few others like it, but this is the largest and this one is affiliated with the state. We really enjoyed two aspects of it - first, more people seem to be focused on organic foods than ever before, as well as "eating locally". Additionally, there are more ethnic vendors than ever before, so we can get curry leaf, lemongrass and a variety of other fresh items that we want.

Very nice.

Check out the pictures:




^ There is a solid Thai population that sells flowers around Charlotte, including here. They also sell uptown, perhaps I'll feature in a future blog entry during this "100 Days Back" section.





^ Produce of ever sort and type.



^ I have been purchasing chow chow from Ms. Virginia Hoyle for the last 15 years. She is a nice woman from the countryside.

For the uninitiated, chow chow is an indigenous relish made only in the south, and it is tasty. And often very hot. Ms. Virginia also makes a variety of other condiments that one almost never hears of anymore (and I had never heard of before we moved south). As an example, she also makes Dixie Radish and pickled okra. She places the products in glass Ball jars, also a dying art of a bygone era.

She had a bout with cancer a few years back and we were unsure if she would be at the market after our two year hiatus. We were glad to see her.

It is a fair assumption Ms. Virginia Hoyle's products have never been featured on the web before.




^ One of our favorites is "Fat Boys Produce", as seen here. The vendors do seem a bit overweight, but perhaps no less so than their customers. It is a constant source of amazement to us, the girth of the American public. Really quite shocking.



You can see Tara closing the deal with a vendor, in the background.

So, there you have it. We were excited to go back to the farmer's market.

Good keeping company with friends throughout the 4th, as well. And nice to see Gerry and Sharron!