Camerons in India

Day 100 of Repatriation - The Blog Ends

2009-10-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

This is post 836 of CameronsinIndia. The final post. Sort of sad about it, in reality...

Here are my words on India, let's consider it the last word of this blog.

And now....

We

FADE

TO

BLACK

Day 99

2009-10-08T05:24:00.000-07:00

Tara isn't crazy about the idea of having a video with her last words about India.

Let's just say she loved it. So much...

Final words

2009-10-07T14:22:00.000-07:00

Aidan's final words on India.... with a huge wad of gum in his mouth

Liam's final words on India, with a bonus clip of his angst.

Birthday

2009-10-06T03:33:00.000-07:00

Aidan and Jonah had a joint birthday party at one of those places that has lazer tag and bouncy houses and the like. A good time was had by all - first US birthday in a few years....

Party

2009-10-04T18:07:00.000-07:00

We had a nice party last night, enjoyed everyone's company....

It was more or less in acknowledgment of Tara's bday.

You'll see we have a British fox on our bar that holds two shots glasses. He's the closest thing we have to domestic help now.

Below you'll see the snaps from the gathering - a fun time.

^ And the party isn't over until the Wilhelms make their way out!

Jonah's last words

2009-10-03T14:13:00.000-07:00

Deer!!

2009-10-02T14:05:00.000-07:00

Deer have been coming into our backyard. While charming and exciting, it's pretty sad because the last remnants of a muchlarger community of deer that have lived here for a long, long time are just waiting to get killed by cars - one at a time for a few more generations.

Anyway, here's a couple snaps. Pretty cool.

Ashoka's final statement

2009-10-01T13:26:00.000-07:00

Copenhagen

2009-09-30T03:33:00.000-07:00

We have put up some of our antique (or antique-like) maps back up in the den. A nice addition is the city map of Copenhagen, given to us by our friends Tørsten and Katrine.

This morning, Aidan asked Tara what the maps were. The first is Bermuda, where we went on our honeymoon. Aidan asked if that was in Virginia (?). Then, the maps in the middle are of South Africa - one of the entire country right after the Boer War, the second of the path the trekkers took into the interior, which Tara described to Aidan as ".... that's where Lawrence is from." Finally, the map of Denmark. Jonah chimed in and said, "Where Vitus is from?"

So, there you have it. Good stuff.

Day 90

2009-09-29T11:19:00.000-07:00

Ten more days for this blog. Let the countdown begin.

Visitors

2009-09-28T03:44:00.000-07:00

Had dinner last night with Uncle Gerry and Aunt Sharron. Gerry is among the blog's most ardent followers, so I decided to make sure he had an appearance on it.

Nice seeing you guys!

Ashoka

2009-09-27T03:38:00.000-07:00

Ashoka is one thing that reminds us of India. And we trained him to do something that is very Indian..... have a look.

Day 87

2009-09-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

The sun will soon set on this blog.

This is a picture I took on a business trip to India in 2006, during my side trip to Kerala.

In case you missed it.....

2009-09-25T15:03:00.000-07:00

.... here is the pretty picture of Tara.

Happy Birthday Tara!!

2009-09-24T03:22:00.000-07:00

Tara's birthday was today....

^ I got her a small cake with candles that made a "41". Aidan took note off the fact that from where he sat it looked like 14. Small concession, since our eldest son is older than that. But Tara got carded the other day when buying some wine... which she really liked.

^ The boys assembled for mom to come downstairs.

^ Liam holding back a smile.

^ Tara was a ravishing beauty. I took her to a place she has always wanted to go, Barrington's Restaurant. It was excellent.

Our Place

2009-09-23T14:29:00.000-07:00

So, you've seen segments of our house..... this is a tour of the whole thing.... in about one minute flat.

Just to accentuate the back yard shot, here is a still. Note the sun on the tree - it is from Goa. Isn't new grass great?

Day 83

2009-09-22T12:43:00.000-07:00

OK, so we're almost ready to fade to black on this blog.

So, what did it all mean?

Yeah, like I can encapsulate that in a few sentences.....

We're pretty well adjusted back. We have the house looking ok, I have new grass coming in, we've connected with many friends, work is busy as can be (wow, like you wouldn't believe!) and Tara is going through the mechanics of life as a housewife in Charlotte, NC..... a role which suits he ok, but not like it used to.

In fact, the whole gig doesn't fit like it used to. This life in Charlotte, it is indeed a fine pair of shoes.... in fact, a life like we have is the envy of perhaps > 90% of the people on the earth..... and we know how to do this kind of life, it's like riding a bike....

But the reality is that something new has been planted and there is a need for us to deliberately nurture this new thing. We believe it is planted for a reason. Time will tell what that is. And the mechanics of this life here provides challenges to nurturing it.

I think. Still figuring it out....

Additionally, there is now a bit of a restlessness that won't be satisfied by this life. It's hard to explain, but we feel more *alive* when we are on the move, out of our element, learning new things, speaking in new tongues, tasting new foods, and trying to figure out just exactly how things work in a far-flung corner of the globe.

So, we're now looking for beautiful little threads as they show themselves. One has shown up, by all appearances. Tara has apparently hooked into a trip to Cameroon in early 2010 where she would do volunteer work in an AIDS orphanage. She would go with Abong, a woman from our church, as well as a few other friends from church. Not a "church sponsored" thing, but one that arose from people in common community.

Perhaps that is the best kind.

Her trip to Guatemala years ago was a huge event for her, transformative.

Well, with just a few days to go, I wanted to thank you for staying tuned in.... whoever you may be.

Bye for now....

Someone is 8!!

2009-09-21T12:35:00.000-07:00

Jonah turned 8 years old today. He originally requested that we have a family dinner at Kabuto, one of those Japanese places that makes the food in front of you. Now, those can be nice - but this one isn't that nice. They throw a huge lump of margarine on the grill before they start doing the tricks with the knives and prawns. Long and the short of it - the image of the slathering margarine puddle really stays with you.

Thankfully, we gently asked if we could go to Luisa's instead. He consented. It was an awesome and enjoyable meal in a place we have gone now and again for about 15 years.

I like the snap above, as it shows Jonah angry about the fact that I brought him out for juice and he thought it would be a smoothie. In the environment he was in - it was that which upset him. India all around and he had a mundane concern.

What a great thing that was, to see his so truly adapted like that to something so foreign.

Party

2009-09-20T05:46:00.000-07:00

Montibello has a monthly "Cocktail Club" that we have been attending for years. It was a great time, as always. Some snaps below.

And so ends...

2009-09-19T05:32:00.000-07:00

....another week.

Today is day 80 of being back. 20 days to go beforte the blog fades to black.

Thursdays....

2009-09-18T05:29:00.000-07:00

....are a time when we go to church for some family time and community, in the evening.

^ The young ones have a great time.

^ The entrance to the church.

^ The city is growing all around it. When built, it was a country church, 60 some years ago.

A facet of our repatriation.

Tag Sale

2009-09-17T03:51:00.000-07:00

Tara's tag sale was last weekend, here are some pictures....

^ It was about five families involved, all at Sheri 's house.

^ Lots of people came, some before sunrise.

^ A snap of the crowd.

^ I have noticed this for a few years now - these sales are one way that Hispanics acquire articles of clothing and home furnishings. A good bit of Spanish was spoken that morning.

Jonah was an eager participant in the whole process.

Over all, Tara made a few hundred bucks.

Picture

2009-09-16T03:40:00.000-07:00

Was processing some new pictures and found this one from the wine tasting we went to....

I posted it because it looks, very unintentionally, like there is an interrogation.

Day 76: As US life settles in....

2009-09-15T10:01:00.000-07:00

.... it is fair to assume that we will learn some new things about ourselves, just as we did in India. The lessons are continuing, and I have discovered that I really find watching Aidan's baseball games incredibly enjoyable. It's such a rare commodity to have time where you don't have much to do except watch a game in front of you.

Certainly it is different because I have someone from my family playing. It is also different because no one is marketing a single item to me - there's no commercials, no advertisements behind the batting box..... just kids playing baseball.

Then, you have kids playing who you start to get to know - this one is not so solid as a thrower, another one is a great pitcher, a third is always trying to steal bases..... and on and on. Great stuff.

To know me is to know someone who generally has found the scale and depth of interest in sports a bit puzzling. At worst, I have thought it was counter-productive, with sports being simply a modern day form of the Roman "bread and circus".

I guess I am not overthinking this as much these days. I just really enjoyed watching that game last night.

They're undefeated.

Another thing that happened tonight was Liam started his swimming practices. Here's to hoping it becomes a positive outlet for him - I think it will!

It's day three of her sickness and Tara seems to be back in the saddle and generally healthy. She says we don't need to do anything to the house for a few days. This, too, is nice. 8)

Well, it happened.....

2009-09-14T09:58:00.000-07:00

....Tara got sick from working too hard and resting too little. She is essentially immobilized and in bed. Not sure what the issue is, but it's not H1N1. It'd be worse than this.

Perhaps we need to give ourselves more time in terms of setting our lives back up here in the US?

Moving back

2009-09-13T09:28:00.000-07:00

Hi, it's Liam, I hope everyone's doing well, I hope you'll take part in reading this piece I did on my prespective on the move back to the US.

India
1-One thing I enjoyed the most about India was that it was not suburban and boring like Charlotte, but that it was exotic, urban, and exciting. For example, I would see water buffalo and BMW's in the same area, just little things like that made the experience very interesting.
2-The one thing I loathed the most during my time in India was the lack of good infrastructure. For example, my house would suffer a power-cut in the middle of a sunny day for no reason, and I don't think I ever used my shower, due to it's lack of water or even hot water. Living in a third-world country was very difficult in this way, it's one thing I definitely don't miss in the least bit.

Charlotte
1 -Reflecting back on what you just read, you can probably conclude what I enjoy about being back in Charlotte and what I don't enjoy about being back in Charlotte. First, the infrastructure here is adequate, and I'm thankful for being able to take a long, hot shower. Second, the thing I don't enjoy is the boring atmosphere of this small, suburban metro. I overall am a big city person, and I prefer Hyderabad as my residence in the scenario of being here or there.

Wine Tasting

2009-09-12T06:49:00.000-07:00

Day 73...

Last night we had a great time at our friends' home - David and Lynn. They hosted a charity wine tasting with Wine for Humanity. This org hosts wine tasting events and then let's you order some of the wines you had during the event. Then they give a portion of the proceeds to a charity of your choice.

David and Lynn chose The Society of Saint Andrew, a "gleaning" organization that recovers food that cannot/will not be harvested for whatever reason and gives it to the poor and hungry.

Didn't now anyone was even doing that. Wow.

The woman, Marilyn, who is one of three women who run the whole thing in Virginia, North and South Carolina, explained their approach and how they get things done. Totally inspiring. She also said that about 25% of the food produced in the US never makes it to market - for reasons of controlling the price, or farmers being unable/unwilling to complete a harvest, and because of perceived imperfections in the items (melons that are not the "standard size" for a supermarket, etc.).

She brought up a question that many in America have, but none of us were brave enough to ask - "If the poor are hungry, why are so many of them overweight?" She beat us to the punch and explained how many poor people live in what is called "a food desert", which is to say their part of town only has convenience stores which enables them to buy soda, candy, macaroni and cheese - essentially items that are high in sugar, fat and sodium. And many of them don't have vehicles to travel to the part of town where the abundance is.... essentially, where we live.

For a moment there, I got a clear glimpse of how things work in America and felt a little distrubed. It was a good day for reflecting on that - being 9/11 and all.

She said she is working to get a produce stand into the bus station in uptown Charlotte. Makes perfect sense.

This was one of the most interesting things we had heard of in a while and we were both really inspired. Great party, too!

^ Marilyn explaining things about the Society....

^ Marilyn and Debbie, the woman from Wine for Humanity

^ Ms. Marilyn

^ Orders were collected by Debbie.....

^ Meeting old friends and new....

^ By the end of the night, David was making strong declarations about how good the cheese was.... so, I got a picture of that.

Friday, Sept 11

2009-09-11T06:33:00.000-07:00

Day 72...

Well, 8 years later there is not much sign of Sept 11 being a day set apart. A few things here and there, but less focus on it than years past. I guess last time we were here for it was the 5th anniversary, so much more going on. Today seemed just like another day.

Some things from the day...

^ We more or less have finished the den. Tara bought huge couches. They're ok, she likes them better than I do. I probably won't warm up to them fully until I nap on them. And Tara says they need pillows.

^ New kitchen chairs. The Shaker chairs are gone.

^ Here's the view from my desk. Window seat, nice....

^ So, I started to hear the punding of a band from my desk. Hmmmm.

^ I went down to see what was going on - it appears Charlotte is having its "Blue, Bews and Barbecue" Festival. You won't get that just anywhere. If you want insight into what it is all about, check out the sign on the right of this snap - "Outlaw Barbecue Shack - So Good It Oughtta Be ILLEGAL".

^ I will admit I enjoyed the band when they started playing the Allman Brothers. And it's amazing how every person in the crowd - old, young, black, white, white collar, blue collar - got energized by the Allman Brothers tune. I liked that.

^ Vegetable and fruit vendor.

^ Before going back to work, went to a park to see if anyone had placed 3,000 small flags in the ground - a rememberance of those who died in the WTC on Sept 11. This was a bit of a normal routine on 9/11 in years past.

^ Nothing.

Dahi

2009-09-10T03:55:00.000-07:00

Day 71...

I made my own dahi, or yogurt. A little thing I learned in India.

Oh, hey Sam!

2009-09-09T17:30:00.000-07:00

Day 70...

Today I got off the bus at 7:30 in uptown Charlotte, turned the corner and bumped into a friend from Hyderabad, Sam Uppaluri. He is not a Bank guy that I worked with, he's with another company altogether and had just gotten off the plane at midnight. This is perhaps the ultimate small world experience of all - we were just like "Hey!" on the streets of Charlotte.

Sam is the guy in the light blue shirt - above.

South Mecklenburg

2009-09-08T05:04:00.000-07:00

We went to Liam's high school, named South Mecklenburg High School (above), today and attended parent's night. We met all of his teachers. They uniformly said he is doing well, is pretty quiet, and that he has been doing his homework.

Whew!

The school allows you to do two things on the web - see what assignments he has, as well as see what grades he is achieving.

So, that is good. We won't be out of the loop until some of the problems are deep - should they pop up again.

We were pretty proud to hear about his progress.

Laboring on Labor Day

2009-09-07T15:22:00.000-07:00

Day 68...

Working our collective butts off today......

I asked Tara how long it has been since our things had arrived at the house - it has been only three weeks. We've done a huge amount in three weeks. Almost too much. We're so eager to have life here achieve some level of normalcy that we've been working very hard. And now that I am in my new role, I am a "nights-and-weekends" worker at home.

Some of the progress....

^ Front area painted....

^ Improved curb appeal. Admittedly, hard to notice from this picture - but it's amazing what a coat of paint will achieve.

Below is the big ticket item for the weekend.....

^ The den as it existed at the beginnig of the day. We have torn the wallpaper down, which left a huge amount of rough drywall, as well as ripped drywall caused by our ripping it off.

^ Have you heard of skim coating? We hadn't either. But we researched what you need to do to make a wall "like new" again. It involves joint compound, a certain type of wide knife, and a specifc technique of applying manually. It took a long time....

^ Tara applying some of the material. I did most of it... but she was a great asset in the whole process. She has the eye.

^ Yet more.

^ And, the largely finished product. Now it dries for a day, we sand and paint - again, at night.

Ashoka

2009-09-06T15:19:00.000-07:00

Day 67....

We had visitors this evening, Gary and Rachna, but we forgot to take some snaps.

It was really great to see them!

Above is a picture of Ashoka in his new bed, very happy.

Charlotte's India Festival

2009-09-05T16:32:00.000-07:00

Day 66...

Today we had a unique experience - we went to the Charlotte India Festival in uptown Charlotte. It was nice - many of the sights and sounds of Charlotte but with many Indians.

When we got there, Tara laughed and said, "Let's find an Indian family and ask to have our picture taken with them."
Hilarious!

Some snaps...

^ The corner of Trade and Tryon was the location - smack in the heart of Charlotte.

^ The Blumenthal Performing Arts Center was the location of many exhibits, clothing vendors, etc.

^ Me and the little guys.

^ A nice charity mixed in with the food vendors, etc. Enjoyed talking to them...

^ Liam standing in line for chaat. It took a while.

^ The "Indian queue" phenomenon was reduced, but not absent. This was the line Liam was in, struggling to keep his place.

He eventually got his chaat.

^ A Charlotte girl in Gujarati dress, as part of a dance troop. She leads an otherwise comfortable, American life - this garb is rare. But it is a beauful outfit, no?

^ Trade and Tryon. This was the first Indian Festival (they have been going on for 15 years, we have always attended) where the crowd was large enough to justify blocking off the street. This was a source of pride, I think. Notice the police car in the picture.

^ We don't like mimes, so it was funny that we saw one as we left the Festival.

^ The family went back to the car and drove away.

A good time was had by all.

We saw our friend Ramesh Kaza at the Festival. He was in Hyderabad with us, he is visiting Charlotte on business.

I said to him, "Ramesh, I came here and stood in line for a long time to get a little food for a lot of money. In India, there was no line, alot of food, and it cost very little money. That's the difference!"

We had a good laugh.

Abdul - if you're reading this, my Hindi was excellent during one conversation that I had, aur sab log bahut ascharya ho rahe the!

Work continues to be...

2009-09-04T16:29:00.000-07:00

Day 65...

....relentless.

Liking it.

Work

2009-09-03T15:25:00.000-07:00

Day 64...

Work has an amazing capacity to change. I left for India in 2007 and for the first few weeks it was pretty quiet. Then it got busier, then it got really busy and stayed that way for a long, long time.

Then, I left India and it got quiet again. Really, really quiet. For about two months.

Now I am in my new role. Within a few days, I started getting on e.mail distributions, plugging into bridgelines, attending staff meetings and generally getting involved in my new role.

Wow! I mean, a mere two weeks ago, many of these people didn't know me, or knew "of" me. Now, I am slammed. I actually had to take a later bus than usual, because I couldn't make the bus I wanted to - just too busy.

It's a nice feeling. I'll admit there was something a bit disconcerting about how quiet it got for a couple of months. Yes, I kept getting paid, but for essentially - repatriating.

Well, I guess that is how that works.

Kitchen

2009-09-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

Kitchen mostly painted.

Notice that Liam is doing homework! And he is out all afternoon with kids his age.

Feeling happy about the trend line, may it continue....

"Good to be back?"

2009-09-01T18:05:00.000-07:00

We have been asked countless times a single question - "Is it good to be back?" There are variations - Americans often drop part of a sentence in our vernacular - thus, it becomes simply "Good to be back?" Or there is the leading question, "So, it's pretty good to be back?" with a tonal intonation that means, "Tell me how great America is."

Generally, the question is asked a bit like "How are you?" Most people aren't really interested in how you are - it's just an obligatory thing. There's nothing worse than the person of whom you ask, "How are you?" and they reply with a story.

So, if the question is the obligatory kind, it is answered in the same manner.

"It's good."

On the other hand, some ask it in such a way that you know they mean it. Or it is a close friend. So, you share some ideas with some people.

And the honest answer we give to the question is, "It's a mixture of feelings."

If they ask more, I still keep it high level and say, "We had a good life there. We enjoyed it and we were sad to see it end. But you can do alot worse than ending up here." When I say "here" I generally make a gesture with my hands to everything around me, which is, more often than not, very nice. A clean office building, a green and tidy neighborhood, a nice shopping center, a park.

It's all pretty nice.

In reality, we're pretty sad that it's over and we're eager to have an adventure of a similar sort again some day. As I have alluded to in this blog before, I am not sure that life is intended to be a tiring and relentless pursuit of order. But I have said enough on that theme....

Tara and I compared notes recently and found that the same thing was happening to both of us - people were asking questions about India that generally lead us to believe that many people here don't know where or what India is. For example, (and these are otherwise smart people) we have heard the following:

"So, did you have to wear your head covered over there?"

"I bet those people are so scared because of the punishments that they have."

"So, do they have like any equality between men and women?"

"Did you learn to speak Indian?"

"So, you had like a regular house?"

And on and on....

So, that is a bit discouraging..... I truly believe that many of our fellow Americans still live in a bubble that is soon to burst, if it has not been burst already, unbeknownst to us. We truly excel at looking inward, in a cultural sense.

So, there's a bit of insight into some of the questions we have been asked.

Work is cranking up nicely.

The crack

2009-08-31T18:03:00.000-07:00

Update..... the crack in the table has been fixed as best it can - by George, the Romanian jack of all trades.

Except, perhaps, the trade of fixing tables...

We keep telling ourselves that the mildly split joint "adds character".

Telugu newspaper

2009-08-30T18:00:00.000-07:00

In the garage today I found a strip of Telugu newspaper, perhaps brought here in a package or in luggage.

I think it's the only strip of Telugu newspaper in Montibello.

Kitchen

2009-08-29T16:34:00.000-07:00

Day 59...

In the seemingly never-ending effort to get the house back in order (and improved nicely!), Tara took on installing a stone backsplash around the kitchen. Yes, she did it herself, once again showing me up!

^ This is the look of the stone.

^ This is segment under a window sill.

^ Almost done.

^ More....

^ Behind the stove.

^ Done!

______________________________

To really see the impact, check out the "before and after" below.

Tomorrow afternoon - painting!!

Stress....

2009-08-28T16:24:00.000-07:00

Day 58...

An observation about America....

One thing we have seen a good bit of is the American obsession with stress".

A day does not pass in this country without someone putting stress in front of you. Either it is someone saying, "I am totally stressed lately," or people driving rushing to get through a yellow light before it turns red in a manner that puzzles you, or a commercial flashing the word on the TV screen and offering an antidote - to stress.

People are indeed wound tightly here in the US, for the most part. And a major question remains - what has us so stressed out?

We generally have plentiful food. Too much, in most cases. We mostly have ample shelter, especially when viewed with what many people have in places like India. We have - well, more of everything in a material sense than most of the rest of the world. So, what is it?

We also claim to be a nation of people following a faith, mostly Christian. But for many, church provides a brief pit stop from the wheel that everyone's running on.

So, what is it that has everyone in this land of faithful, prosperous people so very "stressed out"?

I am not sure I know, but I can tell you it may be the extra time to think about such things.

More....

2009-08-27T18:20:00.000-07:00

Day 57...

OK, an observation about America. It is definitely getting more diverse. We live smack dab in the middle of a multi-100,000 swath of Charlotte's white population and consider that to be.... well, a bit boring now. So, I have definitely noticed that our eyes gravitate to foreign people, of whom there are many in Charlotte - just not so many where we live.

The other day, Tara got a taste of the growing diversity of Charlotte - with en element of humor.

She was in Target. If you aren't sure what Target is - it is a box store with a slightly "above" edge to it. Not much, but it's different.

So, two women were walking through Target - both with full hijab on. They must have just arrived, because they looked a bit stunned, according to Tara, by the sheer volume of items around them. And the fact they were still in full hijab tells you they were probably new. That eventually gets toned down as Muslims live in the US.

Anyway, there were various kids with them. The kids spoke English pretty well. So, as these women and their children wandered through Target wide-eyed, a little boy looked up at his mother and said, "Mother, do you remember that bird I killed in Pakistan? I am sorry about that."

That's all Tara heard. She liked that moment.

So, more pictures are below.....

^ A bit blurry, but here are the boys on the first day of school. Liam has been doing well. So far, so good.

^ I was in charge of getting Jonah and Aidan on the bus. Of course, we missed it. I drove them. It's just around the corner. Ashoka came.

^ The picture of Iva Mayberry over the piano. Esteemed ancestor (wink, wink).

^ We like antique maps. This is of Bermuda, where we went on our honeymoon. The eucalyptus in the vase - from the yard. I grew it!

^ The porch has been put together, a bit.

^ Back patio, taking shape.

^ Computer now has a place in the library - and it doesn't have to be seen at all times, a key condition for Tara.

^ Library - art, seats, goodlighting. Coming together nicely.

^ In our bedroom - what will be forever known as "Sonali's couch". We now have a nice little lounge area. Good for naps.

^ Check this sentence out - "In India, we got used to having more television options, so we tried to get that many options in the US." This sentence is probably not uttered often.

To know us is to know our ambivalence to television. We watch it, but try to be selective and remember fondly the five years after Liam was born when we had no TV. Additionally, we never had cable before India. Nor a flat screen before India.

But - I'll admit, watching my iTunes-downloaded episodes of Battlestar Galactica through an RGB cableon this thing was cool. All sorts of options these days. And I have been DVR'ing "Punked", one of my favorite shows. So, technology isn't all bad.

iMac

2009-08-26T07:10:00.000-07:00

Got the iMac fixed today! Pictures forthcoming!!

So, the first day of school was today

2009-08-25T07:06:00.000-07:00

We have had some interesting events lately. Liam started tenth grade and they have placed him in honors classes, with the exception of math. We were pretty surprised by this, as the school advocated this.

Well, the last thing we were going to do was argue with them on it, so that is good.

His friends Ben has been coming by almost daily, good for him to have someone to spend some time with. As you know, if you followed this blog, his experience in India, academic and otherwise, was a big difficult.

He had a good day at school, seemed overwhelmed by the scale of it. I think there are about 2,000 kids in his school.

Aidan had a great time and Jonah did, too.

And so on...

2009-08-24T07:48:00.000-07:00

Day 54...

I accepted a new role in the Bank today! It defies brief description (I always practice how to describe my role in an elevator ride), but the role is as the "Engagement Manager" between the Bank's Banking Center and ATM technology teams and the Bank's infrastructure and shared services division.

Yeah, it sounds too opaque to anyone who doesn't work at our company, perhaps. Will have to work on the description in layman's terms.

But I am excited, I know what the role is and where I want to take it, and like the people for and with whom I will be working.

And so life back here continues to evolve.....

Kids went back to school today. Pictures to follow - once I get a new power cord for the netbook. Which I will do here at a remarkably more rapid pace than would have been the case in India. So, I have that going for me.....

Things we have said at this phase of repatriation....

2009-08-23T04:46:00.000-07:00

Day 53...

Where is everybody?

Oh, wow - has that been sitting there for two years?

Oh, no - has that been sitting there for two years?

Where is the silverware drawer, again?

When does school start? They take a bus, right?

My Lord of the Rings replica ring!!!! I thought I lost it! Oh, wow. Tara, give me a hug, I am a bit overwhelmed.....

Where in the world is everybody?

So if we see in retrospect that every phase we have gone through has worked out into something beautiful and fascinating, no matter how hard it was at the time, can we get ahead of the curve and start trusting in the here and now?

Yes, we can get an XBox, but we need a TV first.

Do we have a [fill in the blank]?

Wow. That's alot of food.

They don't even know...

Check it out. Look, look, look. A giant.

And just where is everyone??

Clean. Green. Mmmmmm.

Has anyone seen Ashoka?

Remember Koyaanisqatsi? I think that movie was on to something!

How much did that cost?

Sweetie, you have to get rid of some of this.

Signs of Life

2009-08-22T12:46:00.000-07:00

Day 52...

Our friends David and Lynn were instrumental in starting up Charlotte Tailgate Market. To be more accurate, Lynn had much more to do with it than David - ;-).

This is a farmer's market which focuses on locally grown items, where nothing is from more than a 50 mile radius from Charlotte. Lots of organic stuff, lots of free range meats, people who farm in alternative ways. Very good stuff. We enjoyed it.

Some snaps....

^ Lemonade with chopped mint floating in it. Mmmmmm.

^ Tara catching up with David and Lynn, vendors in the background.

^ More vendors, some skyline in the background.

^ This is Charlotte's "South End", a bit of painting on the buildings. I believe this place is a burrito shop - Phat Burrito.

^ Overall, a nice visit to a little corner of eclectia - and some good items. We'll definitely return.

Day 51...

2009-08-21T12:54:00.000-07:00

We are finding life here too quiet.

First hundred days - half way there

2009-08-20T16:40:00.000-07:00

Day 50...

Well, returning to the rhythms of life is ongoing.... and the house is a major focus for Tara. As always, I have some snapshots.

^ My bookshelf. Not yet returned to its former glory, but it looks good. It'll be done when I arrange the books in that specific order which reflects my mind.

^ The dining room table fit just fine. It's funny we thought it might be too big. The room's bigger than we thought....

^ Look at all of the baubles we still have lying around. This is about as full as we like the shelves in the den, so we have to make a change, Tag sale!

^ Tara's right, the widening of the door does make a difference. Soon, we'll paint the kitchen. And Tara now "hates" the Shaker chairs that we used in the kitchen table.

^ Tara has made the living room a beautiful refuge, once again.

^ I wouldn't usually display our toilet on the blog, but the black paint and the new tiling are awesome and we thought we'd share.

^ Fireplace is shaping up.

^ In the library.

^ One of the next frontiers - the porch.

A glimpse

2009-08-19T17:02:00.000-07:00

Day 49...

Had lunch today with a colleague of many years - she explained that it was like to be here America decided to live out Chinua Achebe's motif "Things Fall Apart". When the US economy was on the skids and close to shambles, she said it was a palpable sense of fear that was afoot in Charlotte and the US in general. It sounded almost eerie.

This colleague is from India. So, she experienced these things in my country while I experienced life in her country.

Interesting...

My friends Chris said every day was filled with shocking news about foreclosures and giant companies going bust - again, eerie.

I am sort of glad I missed it.

Tara had a funny thing happen today - she was carded when out buying a bottle of wine. To a woman over 40, that is a unique thrill. And one, frankly, that is long behind me, personally. It must be the grey hair.

Anyway, so when she gave her ID to the young girl at the register, the young lady blurted out, "Oh my God, you were born the same year as my mom!" Tara wasn't sure if she should be pleased or mortified. I think she was a bit of both.

I want a yurt

2009-08-18T06:31:00.000-07:00

Day 48...

This process of repatriation indeed opens one up to a series of feelings and observations. First, life here is definitely hectic for many folks - there seems to be the constant rush that we knew before. It has not gone.

Additionally, the abundance is absolutely amazing. There's stuff *everywhere*. This is a land of endless options, materially.

But what has really surprised us as we have opened those things which were here in a US warehouse for two years, as well as those things from India, is.... "how'd we get all this stuff".

While in India, we developed the illusion that we had simplified our material schema. We sold our couches, a table or two, and various other things. But now.... we realize that we have an amazing amount of *stuff*.

As Tara unpacked a box the other evening, after I returned from work, she looked up and said, "I need to have a tag sale." It is now scheduled for the 12 of September. Now some other folks can get a slice of our stuff and make it theirs.

It seems that a major part of Tara's existence in this country was intended to answer the question - "How many different ways can you display candles?" We have more candle holders than any one family should have. Tall ones, short ones, one shaped like a reindeer for Christmas, one of glass, four of wood..... and so on.

So, I want a yurt. This is the Mongolian tent that is spacious and mobile. It can be packed up, put on the back of a pony and brought to another part of the Mongolian steppe at any time. It contains a hole in the roof for the fire's smoke to escape, might have a few carpets strung to and fro..... and that is it. Perhaps a TV in a very modern set-up.

But, until I get my yurt, I will return from the office to see my love struggling mightily under the weight of our material girth. And I will cover the tag sale on the twelfth right here - on CameronsinIndia.

Reclaiming the homestead

2009-08-17T17:40:00.000-07:00

Day 47...

OK, so it is happening....

^ The last time we saw this package was in Whisper Valley - in a much smaller truck. I mean lorry. I mean truck.

^ I cut the back lawn, by the way. Still yucky.

^ Cabinets are looking good. Tara is pretty happy with the new look.

^ Here are the handles that she likes so much.

^ Aidan was a big help.

^ But these guys, Bryan an d Junior, were the biggest help.

^ Aidan and Jonah helping with the TV Room. We really need to think of a new name for that room....

^ We got some Asian food (Chinese) for lunch. Jonah ate it with Balinese chop sticks. He probably was the only kid in Montibello to use those today.

^ Our table - cracked joint! Distraught. Will tell you what happens....

^ All of the stuff packed in India looked like this....

^ This is what was in the voluminous packing. Small stuff.

^ The living room is getting some nicer attributes, although not arranged.

^ My bookshelf, receiving new life.

It has been notable that this blog has focused on the recreation of our physical environment since returning to Charlotte. My mind is running with many ideas, will find time to capture them....

2009-08-16T17:50:00.000-07:00

Day 46...

Wow, my parents have sold their place in Vermont and our sea shipment is arriving in the morning!Q Along with our stuff that stayed here in America.

Baseball....

2009-08-15T14:59:00.000-07:00

Day 45...

Aidan has taken up baseball. He's a natural, and got many compliments during this morning's "skills assessment" at baseball.

^ The field.

^ In the infield.

^ Batting.

Part of re-entry is about establishing the norms of life, such as an athletic outlet like being on a baseball team. Aidan seems to be getting his re-entry criteria established....

Changes to the Kitchen

2009-08-14T14:54:00.000-07:00

Day 44..

The cabinets are becoming black. It looks good.

Here is the before picture...

Here is the newest picture, the "after"...

House

2009-08-13T16:33:00.000-07:00

Day 43...

So, we continue to have work done around the house, hoping that this comes to closure soon.... Tara and I dropped by this evening to visit George.

^ Kitchen cabinets are dismantled and waiting to become.... black!

^ A prototype of the final look - it's hard to see, but certain segments of the cabinet door are "distressed", meaning they have been made to look old and a bit worn. We decided on the "hardly any distress at all" look.

^ With the flash on, the distress is more visible. This was too much, we decided.

^ The kitchen all ready for George (in the snap) to spray.

^ Spot where the fridge sat. And will again sit... soon, we hope!

^ Wine fridge, to be built into the island. Can accommodate 34 bottles.

^ For kicks, I rented a Dodge Ram SUV for this month. Very unlike me. No, we won't buy one.

^ We'll have tile put down in the powder room, downstairs.

^ The edge of the room will be these tiles cut in half.

^ Our magnolia suffering in a little neglected segment of the front yard. I will reclaim this!!

Final pictures as they develop.

Division

2009-08-12T19:24:00.000-07:00

Day 42...

^ An angry protester at a town hall in Pennsylvania, upset over the current health care proposals from Washington

I have written on the blog before about the divisions within US society. I believe they are deep and getting deeper. From afar, it was something I could watch but not feel invested in directly. In that way, India was a nice break. But now it is unavoidable. People are authentically mad at each other across the political/cultural divide.

Below is an article that I thought was well-written, by Camille Paglia. She is on the left, but seems to be upset by what is going on right now - there is a huge amount of division on the issue of what to do about the way health care is managed in the US. Clearly some sort of change is needed, but the pace, depth and nature of the change that is needed has people up in arms.... in some cases quite literally. The government just released data yesterday that showed armed militias are growing in number across the country. Yikes!

I try not to make this blog too weighty, but the current environment in the US is extremely hard to watch, so the below is for your edification.... a glimpse into our deep family squabbles which seem to dominate the American landscape these days.

From Salon.com, by Camille Paglia

Aug. 12, 2009 | Buyer's remorse? Not me. At the North American summit in Guadalajara this week, President Obama resumed the role he is best at -- representing the U.S. with dignity and authority abroad. This is why I, for one, voted for Obama and continue to support him. The damage done to U.S. prestige by the feckless, buffoonish George W. Bush will take years to repair. Obama has barely begun the crucial mission that he was elected to do.

Having said that, I must confess my dismay bordering on horror at the amateurism of the White House apparatus for domestic policy. When will heads start to roll? I was glad to see the White House counsel booted, as well as Michelle Obama's chief of staff, and hope it's a harbinger of things to come. Except for that wily fox, David Axelrod, who could charm gold threads out of moonbeams, Obama seems to be surrounded by juvenile tinhorns, bumbling mediocrities and crass bully boys.

Case in point: the administration's grotesque mishandling of healthcare reform, one of the most vital issues facing the nation. Ever since Hillary Clinton's megalomaniacal annihilation of our last best chance at reform in 1993 (all of which was suppressed by the mainstream media when she was running for president), Democrats have been longing for that happy day when this issue would once again be front and center.

But who would have thought that the sober, deliberative Barack Obama would have nothing to propose but vague and slippery promises -- or that he would so easily cede the leadership clout of the executive branch to a chaotic, rapacious, solipsistic Congress? House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, whom I used to admire for her smooth aplomb under pressure, has clearly gone off the deep end with her bizarre rants about legitimate town-hall protests by American citizens. She is doing grievous damage to the party and should immediately step down.

There is plenty of blame to go around. Obama's aggressive endorsement of a healthcare plan that does not even exist yet, except in five competing, fluctuating drafts, makes Washington seem like Cloud Cuckoo Land. The president is promoting the most colossal, brazen bait-and-switch operation since the Bush administration snookered the country into invading Iraq with apocalyptic visions of mushroom clouds over American cities.

You can keep your doctor; you can keep your insurance, if you're happy with it, Obama keeps assuring us in soothing, lullaby tones. Oh, really? And what if my doctor is not the one appointed by the new government medical boards for ruling on my access to tests and specialists? And what if my insurance company goes belly up because of undercutting by its government-bankrolled competitor? Face it: Virtually all nationalized health systems, neither nourished nor updated by profit-driven private investment, eventually lead to rationing.

I just don't get it. Why the insane rush to pass a bill, any bill, in three weeks? And why such an abject failure by the Obama administration to present the issues to the public in a rational, detailed, informational way? The U.S. is gigantic; many of our states are bigger than whole European nations. The bureaucracy required to institute and manage a nationalized health system here would be Byzantine beyond belief and would vampirically absorb whatever savings Obama thinks could be made. And the transition period would be a nightmare of red tape and mammoth screw-ups, which we can ill afford with a faltering economy.

As with the massive boondoggle of the stimulus package, which Obama foolishly let Congress turn into a pork rut, too much has been attempted all at once; focused, targeted initiatives would, instead, have won wide public support. How is it possible that Democrats, through their own clumsiness and arrogance, have sabotaged healthcare reform yet again? Blaming obstructionist Republicans is nonsensical because Democrats control all three branches of government. It isn't conservative rumors or lies that are stopping healthcare legislation; it's the justifiable alarm of an electorate that has been cut out of the loop and is watching its representatives construct a tangled labyrinth for others but not for themselves. No, the airheads of Congress will keep their own plush healthcare plan -- it's the rest of us guinea pigs who will be thrown to the wolves.

With the Republican party leaderless and in backbiting disarray following its destruction by the ideologically incoherent George W. Bush, Democrats are apparently eager to join the hara-kiri brigade. What looked like smooth coasting to the 2010 election has now become a nail-biter. Both major parties have become a rats' nest of hypocrisy and incompetence. That, combined with our stratospheric, near-criminal indebtedness to China (which could destroy the dollar overnight), should raise signal flags. Are we like late Rome, infatuated with past glories, ruled by a complacent, greedy elite, and hopelessly powerless to respond to changing conditions?

What does either party stand for these days? Republican politicians, with their endless scandals, are hardly exemplars of traditional moral values. Nor have they generated new ideas for healthcare, except for medical savings accounts, which would be pathetically inadequate in a major crisis for anyone earning at or below a median income.

And what do Democrats stand for, if they are so ready to defame concerned citizens as the "mob" -- a word betraying a Marie Antoinette delusion of superiority to ordinary mortals. I thought my party was populist, attentive to the needs and wishes of those outside the power structure. And as a product of the 1960s, I thought the Democratic party was passionately committed to freedom of thought and speech.

But somehow liberals have drifted into a strange servility toward big government, which they revere as a godlike foster father-mother who can dispense all bounty and magically heal all ills. The ethical collapse of the left was nowhere more evident than in the near total silence of liberal media and Web sites at the Obama administration's outrageous solicitation to private citizens to report unacceptable "casual conversations" to the White House. If Republicans had done this, there would have been an angry explosion by Democrats from coast to coast. I was stunned at the failure of liberals to see the blatant totalitarianism in this incident, which the president should have immediately denounced. His failure to do so implicates him in it.

Ongoing

2009-08-11T19:37:00.000-07:00

Day 41...

The process of locking into a role at the Bank is ongoing, but I trust it won't be much longer.

The little guys

2009-08-10T17:26:00.000-07:00

Day 40...

Aidan and Jonah had a great day with friends at a local pool, came back tired and with a bit of color around their gills. Good day.

I asked Aidan what he missed most about India. He said, "Lawrence." I asked Jonah the same question, "My friends."

So, if my earlier premise that we can learn from our children is correct - we have learned that no matter where you go and what you are experiencing, it is the relationships that you establish that are paramount.

I think that is probably right.

Ashoka, the Roadasian

2009-08-09T18:35:00.000-07:00

Day 39...

Part of being a dog owner in Charlotte is taking your dog for a walk in Freedom Park. I took Ashoka there over the weekend. He enjoyed it. We both did.

When I think about his life he was going to have on the streets of Hyderabad, it's amazing to think about where he is and what he's experiencing.

^ But, as you can see - the boys occassionally have fun with him and strip him of his dignity now and again.

Our place

2009-08-08T18:51:00.000-07:00

Day 38...

What follows are some of the pictures showing you some changes we're having made around the house.

^ Stairway is sanded down.

^ The library, now with wood floors.

^ Doorway is now twice as wide as before. Wallpaper in kitchen stripped. Painting forthcoming.....

^ Wine refrigerator in the island has been installed. The oak cabinets, long the thing that Tara has disliked about the kitchen - soon to be transformed. Stay tuned....

^ Den now has wood floors.

^ TV room is now with wood floors.

^ Second flight of the stairs are now sanded down.

^ We enjoyed some time with Patrick and Allison this evening, as well. Great seeing you guys!

Pics

2009-08-07T18:50:00.000-07:00

Day 37...

Tomorrow, I will give you a bit more insight into our home renovations.

Tara

2009-08-06T07:48:00.000-07:00

Day 36...

Still making sure she keeps her groove on, here is a picture of Tara smiling.

Tired

2009-08-05T17:03:00.000-07:00

Day 35...

Tara and I were hanging out on our porch tonight and Jonah came out and fell asleep with the dog. Cute.

Living large

2009-08-04T18:54:00.000-07:00

Day 34...

Good day at the office. Getting close to closing the deal, I believe.

As I sometimes do here on the blog, I apologize for my rants when I have them. Yesterday was one of those. So, sorry. Sort of.

I think it's all just part of readjusting.

Here are some snaps taken recently.

A book store. A huge bookstore.

Books everywhere. This is but a fraction of the options. Amazing.

^ And there is even more upstairs.

^ Then there is Harris Teeter, a grocery store around the corner from us. Strapping store, and it is not even the biggest one.

The pictures below are of special interest to me - I had forgotten that these existed. Lines where you scan your own groceries. It is tended by one person at a stand at the end of the machines. It works by ensuring that the weight of what you scanned on one side of the machine is the same as the weight of what you have when you check out. It is virtually fool-proof in terms of thievery. Ingenious.

Below is the same paradigm - Red Box. Swipe your debit card and give your e.mail - then pick a DVD. It's a buck a day per DVD. After 15 days, you've bought it. Again, fool-proof. Ingenious.

So, I guess in some ways our land of excess is also to be seen as a land of plenty. This self-service theme is an interesting one. Really makes you think.

* * * *

Here is some of the aftermath of the financial/real estate crisis here in the US.

^ This is "Mediterra", a development around the corner from us. It does not appeal to me with the wall and the faux Amalfi Coast look. It is at a standstill, by all appearances.

^ A house in Tufton Brae, a new neighborhood near us, as well. For sale.

^ Another house in Tufton Brae. I think someone may live here. It is lonely for them.....

^ ... because this is how the rest of Tufton Brae looks. Weeds, empty lots and for sale signs in front of them.

* * * *

Here is some of our remodeling being done on our house. If you will, it is our own version of largesse, but we feel ok about it. Keeping people working, that's what we're all about, right. ;-)

^ Floor outside of the bedrooms, now oak. We're all about getting rid of the carpet.

^ Floor of the library, almost completed with flooring.

^ Widening the door between the den and the kitchen. This is one of those projects which is "growing" as they discover more and more dependencies, such as the need for a big beam along to top of the newly-widened opening.

^ The living room remains a dumping ground.

More to come!

Twelve freakin' eighty four!!!

2009-08-03T07:11:00.000-07:00

Day 33...

So, since we have been back, we've dealt with a few emotions. One is a sense of sadness. Especially Tara. But me, too. Kids seem ok. Perhaps we can learn from them.

Another is a sense of excitement. It's nice to be back in some key ways. The US is a great place in many, many ways. As I have pointed out before, if India was all we ever knew, this would be an amazing place where we would be enthralled day in and day out until it became normal.

We see this deep sense of appreciation amongst our friends from other places.

There are a series of emotions.

One thing that has gotten to me a bit is the general sense that the US is a place that has gotten a bit out of control. This is definitely a place of excess.

Yes, I know - the questions that follow are legitimate - excessive compared to what? And aren't you and your family participating, Byl? And isn't it success instead of excess? And on and on..... and they would all be fair questions and I probably don't have any definitively good answers.

But I'll stick with the "excessive" stance.

There is an excess of commitment to the wrong things in so many cases. Everyone seems to be running around chasing something. I am not sure what. But the endless and exhausting focus on performance, status, sports, competition, and the like is very evident. No one seems to have time for each other or just doing a good bit of nothing. This is most evident in the fact that children's sports are now spilled over into Sunday. I have even heard that on Sunday mornings there are scheduled sporting events for kids.

I realize that not everyone is a Christian and that people think they need the time on Sundays - but a society that has a common time for everyone to (relatively) take time to unwind and relax and ponder and think - that is a healthier society than one that pines for an eighth day of the week.

I believe that if an eighth day of the week were added to life in the US that everything would tumble into it immediately and it would provide no relief.

Additionally, there is an endless amount of consuming going on. We are staying smack in the middle of consumption central - Ballantyne. Hardly a single pedestrian to be seen, this place is a glut of cars zipping around from one place to another in an effort to purchase, purchase, purchase.

So, while this annoyance has been building for a few days, it was especially daunting to take the kids out for ice cream last night. I offered to take them out because Tara needed a break after my full day in the office and I needed to "do my part". Totally understandable. So I said "Who wants to go out for some ice cream..." in that sing-songy way that we ask that in America, with the word "cream" elongated - "creeeeeaaaam?" The kids all said. "I do" in that sing-songy way that American kids do - "I doooooooo".

We went out. In the car. To a shopping center. In Ballantyne. All good. It is what it is, it was what it was.

I got in there for a second and read the menu, looking for the plain ice cream cones. They were there. I kept reading it - incredulous. It was expensive, too expensive.

We ended up getting three ice creams for $12.84.

Now, I know the game and don't begrudge anyone their profit margin. That's the set-up that keeps things going in this neck of the woods. But $12.84 for three ice creams? What is that about?

And there is more of that impulse to be seen in many places. Houses that are on the market for more than the market can currently bear because the prices before were not connected to the true value of the house. And so many Americans spending an extra ten percent above their income through hitting credit cards. And the cars with their excessive girth. And $75 dollar tee shirts from India, probably purchased for a dollar at the beginning of the supply chain. $90 bracelets made of leather and string.

And as I get older I realize there is no easy answer. This won't change if we pick up a sign and organize against it (disclaimer - if you are a young idealist who wandered into this blog entry, ignore me - go get your sign and protest). And we even have some complicity to all of this. We are in fact not so different. For example, we just joined a baseball league for Aidan that will have practices now and again on Sunday (after church, a concession that gave us a justification - albeit a weak one).

I guess in the grand scheme my observation from earlier posts is that anywhere you go there are good things and not so good things - India is pretty strong on both. So is the US. So many things to enjoy in both places.

And I think people have a general desire for wholeness and balance in their lives. And now that we have seen two things that are so different, and mutually wonderful and crappy, there is this desire to see them in balance. But there is not much balance to be seen. This is a world out of balance in many ways. We struggle under their weight of excess. India still struggles mightily under the weight of deprivation.

So, we will commit to keeping alive the desire for community in a place dedicated to individual pursuits, we will keep alive the hope for rest in a place dedicated to rushing. We'll see how it goes.

Anyway, I spent my first full day back in the office today, seeking to establish my next role and putting some sense of rhythm back in my work life. It went well. I truly enjoy working for the Bank.

Church

2009-08-02T15:50:00.000-07:00

Day 32...

We went to church today. It was nice to be connected with everyone after so long. I have written about our church before, so you'll know that it's an important part of our lives here in the US. There was a bit of a lull in attendance, as people are on vacation this time of year, every year.

The subject of the sermon was "Conversion", discussed thoughtfully and interestingly by Rush.

Eli Winkinwerder was made the teenaged member of the Session. He is a third generation member of Selwyn. I think he is the only one who can claim this in the history of the church.

After church we went out to the Roasting Company for lunch. Good grub.

The house....

2009-08-01T13:59:00.000-07:00

Day 31...

We'll be moving back into our house soon. It's hopefully going to happen in a few weeks.

Here are some houses in our neighborhood. They're pretty nice, as a general rule. There are a few hundred houses in Montibello, which is the name of the neighborhood.

On a few you'll notice that there are "for sale signs". They are just sitting there. Few are being purchased. And when they are being purchased, they are selling for less than before we left for India. Often, a good bit less.

Below is our home. It's got a few trucks out in front of it. Tara has engaged some workers on a few projects, quicker than I thought and with very little input from me. So it goes.

My back yard is a disaster, but what can you expect when it hasn't been loved ion two years?

As soon as I walked in, one of the workers (they are Romanian guys, their foreman George has done work with us before) tells me that our overflow pipe for our boiler was leaking underneath the house. He might as well have been saying it in Romanian, because I had no idea what he meant. But I did ask him to kill the water flow to the house, which involves turning some dial that is out by the street as I came to learn.

I took pictures of it.

I'll call the insurance guy Monday.

* * * *

^ This is our library. Soon to have wood floors.

^ My bookshelves, it hurts my heart to see them bare.

^ Paint is chipping on the window sill next to the front door.

^ The wood flooring, currently stored in our dining room. Soon we will have our table from Gupta Furniture (down past the Taj Banjara, across from Pizza Hut) in this room. I think we're the only people in Montibello with a table from Gupta Furniture.

Work

2009-07-31T13:52:00.000-07:00

I believe we have crossed the threshold of getting back into work. I will now leave the "setting up our lives in the US" to Tara and to my nights and weekends.

I spent the day uptown meeting with people about where is the best place to use my skills. Getting some good signals from a couple of groups, and I am grateful that I am able to find work in this environment.

Giddy with the efficiency of it all

2009-07-30T08:41:00.000-07:00

Day 30...

Today was a good day in some key ways. At one point I was what one might call "giddy".

Today I had two goals - set up our YMCA membership, which required the routing number from our checking account. I also delivered a tax document to the state of North Carolina in an overnight delivery mode.

In India, dealing with a bank *and* an organization that you want to join all in the same day is a daunting task. The chaotic lines (or lack of lines) at the bank followed and the requests for "a passport size photo" can mean that you get nothing done and must spend time on the phone for days on end trying to get done that which you want to get done. Often it never happens. Or at least not easily.

Here, everywhere I went they had a process that they had thought through that could help me. At the Bank I explained that we don't have checks for our checking account because we have been overseas. The woman explained that they have a form for that scenario and she would be glad to print out a form with our account's routing number. She did so, and I was then armed with the document that I needed.

Then I went to the Harris YMCA to register the family for membership. I explained that we would be joining after not being members for two years. She said, "Let me look for you in the system> Ah, yes, we still have a record of you. Tara, Liam, Aidan and Jonah will also be joining? Great. Let's pro-rate tomorrow's fee for July, pay August in full and then you can pay the membership fee. You can start going to any area YMCA tomorrow morning." Debit card came out, got swiped and we were done.

She then read the form from the Bank and said, "Yes, we can use this in lieu of a canceled check and we will auto-draft your monthly payment on the first of every month. You're all set."

At this point I was sort of laughing inside. Could this really all be happening like this? You mean I didn't need to have a photo of each family member? You mean there is no old guy that I needed to meet with after sitting outside of his office for two hours? And where, may I ask, are all of the rubber stamps??

Wow. That easy?

Then, I went to the US Postal Service and stood in line. That alone was a pleasure. But the greatest part was that although the line fed into two women sitting at the front of the office, there was a third guy walking up the each customer in the line and asking what it was that they needed. As we explained, one by one, what our need was, he recommended that we either stay in line or come with him. I was brought out of the line and given special service, as my document needed to be sent overnight.

He pulled me aside and explained what form to fill out, gave me the routing number for the package and explained that I could track it online. He also said, "We commit that the package will arrive no later than 11:48 tomorrow."

"Great, are we done?" I asked.

"Yup, you're all set."

At this point I couldn't contain my smile. You mean you won't hold onto the package for a day for no apparent reason?

It just kept getting better.

Now, I am not disparaging India. It's just that India and the US are greatly contrasted in their understanding of who is the customer and what the customer expects and deserves.

So, as we deal with an emotional roller coaster called repatriation, we look for whatever we can to feel happy about.

Yesterday had some really nice attributes.

Letting life here sink in....

2009-07-29T20:05:00.000-07:00

Day 29...

Still letting life sink in slowly, mostly because we have not slowed down to let it happen yet. We're still running around and setting up our life here. It's amazing the apparatus that we usually have in place to make our life functional..... It's a gradual process, but when you have to go through it in a short period of time, it's noticeably different.

Meaning....

Since we have been back we have gotten new driver's licenses, set up our vehicle insurance, turned on the electricity to our house, gotten the kids enrolled in school, moved into an apartment, rented a second car, set up membership at the YMCA near our home, called a guy to establish , scheduled a vet appointment for Ashoka, made doctor's appointments for the kids, got internet established in the apartment, made a visit to the bank, and a variety of other things - it's too long a list to enumerate. And we have barely started to get the things done that we need to...

All of that in the midst of visiting family in a different part of the country.

It's been exhausting, in many ways.

Already we have become sad a few times. We really enjoyed the life we had in India. It's made us feel alive in ways we had not before.

Tara keeps saying that she's not sure how it will be living here. It is indeed a place where everyone is busy all of the time (meaning, less true community). I have been working to remind her that this city and this country have been very good to us. I also have reminded her that she is different and will perhaps find others who want to dedicate time to community in ways that she'll frankly need going forth.

Of course, I am far along enough in this process to know that she just wanted to have her concerns heard, so I listened for most of what she expressed. ;-)

The boys are doing well, I am again amazed at their adaptability. They are just ready for whatever is next. You really can learn a great deal from watching children....

Overall, there is a constant elephant in the room..... the promise of new life, the sadness at a way of life recently lost.

Is it an elephant? Maybe it's not. Maybe it is. But as far as what the future holds, we are definitely blind....

As the poem goes....

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!”

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, “Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me ’tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!”

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a snake!”

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
“What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain,” quoth he;
“ ‘Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!”

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: “E’en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!?

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a rope!”

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

In Ballantyne

2009-07-28T06:02:00.000-07:00

Day 28...

Wow, I am really, really glad that that drive is over. Nerves are indeed like knots - both can get frayed. We were indeed frayed yesterday.

Best part of the drive was when the entire family (minus me, driver) fell asleep in the late afternoon. For like almost two hours. Delightful.

So, we are staying in Camden Ballantyne, pictured from space, above. This is where the adjustment may get interesting. This is a pretty different place. Ashoka and I went on a jog this morning. It's a nice morning, very beautiful. We were pretty much the only people on foot. This segment off the city is dedicated to somewhat higher-end shopping centers, a country club/resort/spa and office parks. It is very Charlotte - which is to say landscaped, orderly, clean.

I am writing you from Ballantyne Village. I am enjoying a harvest muffin and a steaming cup o' joe at Dilworth Coffee. Nice morning.... and I am anonymous here.

The place where we are staying is an apartment on the third floor of one of the buildings. It rained last night and Tara and I sat out on our porch and watched it rain. She turned to me at one point and laughed, saying - "We're right back to where we started." We lived in an apartment here in town 15 years ago. It was not as nice as the one where we are now staying, but it was fine and it also had a deck.

I laughed when she said this.

It may look like a big circle, but I am still interested to see what the true shape of this journey will be.....

The place where we are staying is the first time in a month that we can say we have our own place. In fact, we discussed this last night - we have been living in a place where other people come in and out for the last two years. Maids, hotel workers, family members with whom we were staying...... We have not been truly alone like this for a long time.

We don't want to sound ungrateful for all that we have had - but it definitely feels right now that we are enjoying a little privacy and quietness. Tara wiped down a table this morning, removing crumbs from it in the knowledge that no one else was going to do it. It looked different.....

Not to say the rest of us won't be doing our fair share!

It feels nice to be back in some ways.

It's just like it was..... yet, not.....

Travel

2009-07-27T05:55:00.000-07:00

Day 27...

....we are sure now....

things getting clearer even as we realize that we cannot make it... [gasp, cough,cough]

pretty sure we never should have had children....

we like each other.... [gasp, sputter].... now it's clear that we don't like them.....

send for help

been in a mini van with them for 22 cumulative hours.... never knew life could be this cruel....

send for help

Driving

2009-07-26T05:53:00.000-07:00

Day 26...

...day.... spent in..... car....

cannot stand children... [gasp]

...feel...like...we...will....not make it.... [cough]

send for help

Retrieved...

2009-07-25T05:46:00.000-07:00

Day 25...

...one small boy named Aidan. Seems to have enjoyed himself immensely.

In New Hampshire

2009-07-24T15:29:00.000-07:00

Day 24...

We're in yet a new destination.... New Hampshire. We pick up Aidan tomorrow morning.

This is the webcam of Weir's Beach, near where we are located. It's a working man's paradise, with people of middling means up from Boston for a break. On Weir's Beach is a boardwalk from the turn of the last century, complete with bumper car arcades, video game arcades with games that span the 1940's to the 1980's and store that cater to motorcyclists. Laconia is the town in New England that hosts a "bike week" every year, so there is an ongoing influx of guys riding "hogs" into town (Harley Davidson motorcycles). Like India, this place is interesting to me because it is so very different - from me, from Charlotte, from surrounding towns, etc.

Our next home is a service apartment in Charlotte. It'll be interesting to live in an apartment for the first time in a while....

Our move back to the US has not really sunk in yet due to the fact that we're still a bit in "vacation" mode. It's hard to let our prior/new life sink in while living out of a suitcase.

We enjoyed seeing Tara's family in Hamden. Now - reunite the family and start the long drive home.....

Look who it is....

2009-07-23T08:20:00.000-07:00

Day 23...

Shawn and Lilly, our first guests in our home in India, were at a party recently where we were. It was good to see them. If you follow this blog exceptionally closely, you will remember that they were on their way to do charity work in eastern AP in early 2008 and connected with us through a mutual friend. It was great to get their stories about what happened after they left our place. They had quite an experience working to help an orphanage. They found ample opportunity, such as a lack of proper water facilities, so they focused on building a piping system for the orphanage. Shawn's stories about how looking for the right parts was a day-to-day adventure, where he didn't know what was going to be found on a daily basis brought me back to India a bit. Additionally, an Australian couple had visited this same orphanage at some point before Lilly and Shawn and had worked on helping with the diet practices and nutrition of the place.

It felt good to hear about this good work being done by global trekkers and good to see these folks again. Nice seeing Shawn and Lilly and thanks for the picture!

A few more snaps...

2009-07-22T07:56:00.000-07:00

Day 22...

^ One of my Dad's gardens in Vermont.

^ Portulaca on the dock.

^ Ashoka in "stay" mode.

^ Liam on the inner tube. Probably the last year he'll be able to fit in it....

^ Jonah is still a good fit for the inner tube and we whipped him around. Despite this, he continued to give us the signal to increase the speed.

^ Liam spotting Jonah.

The below pictures show where Liam, Jonah and I went cliff diving at Bristol Falls. Tara took the pictures and was having heavy heart convulsions, so the pictures are inconclusive. SHe had to retreat back to the car.

As the pictures were not that great, I'll show one where Liam and Jonah were jumping off two years ago, Jonah's first time. Here it is.

Dave's Car

2009-07-21T17:19:00.000-07:00

Day 21...

Tara's dad built a car. Not just a car that comes in a kit. A car made of spare parts. From the ground up. Based upon knowledge that he has accrued for decades. Incredible. It is truly a skill that I can appreciate as being brilliant. It humbles me. I cannot even change oil in a car.

The state of Connecticut has accepted this car for use on the roads, it has its "sticker". Because no specific maker exists except Dave, it is listed as a "composite car".

Many of the parts are from much older cars. But since it is an aggregation of older parts, it cannot be listed as antique.

I get the distinct sense there is a connection to India here, to stick with the theme of the blog. In India, people can create amazing things out of five paper clips, nine hangers and four rolls of tape. You can see the most ingenious things happening on the streets of India - not that Dave's car is to be compared to those things, it's not like that. This is an advanced version of the same impulse, though - taking that which has been discarded and seeing in it opportunity.

I got a ride in the car, as did Liam. Fantastic. It's really as cool as it looks.

Tara and Friends

2009-07-20T07:46:00.000-07:00

Day 20...

Tara and I went to a picnic where we connected with some of Tara's life-long friends. Here's a picture.

Picnic

2009-07-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

Day 19...

We just spent the day in a picnic at Tara's family. It was a great time, although the camera is acting up again. Pictures to follow of recent events, but not of the picnic, sorry!

In Connecticut

2009-07-18T15:36:00.000-07:00

Day 18...

So, we are back in Connecticut. It's nice.

One observation about American life - it seems obsessed with race. Here's what I mean....

The US has representatives from every country on Earth within its borders. If you were to seek out a guy from Togo, a woman from the Marshall Islands, a family from Tajikistan, a young boy from Namibia and an elderly woman from New Guinea - they are all out there. We are probably the most representative nation on Earth from the perspective of countries that have citizens living within America at this moment.

Perhaps the UK and a few other places have this same distinction, perhaps not. Not sure.

Anyway....

With all of those specific details of America's ethnicity melting pot pushed aside, we generally function day-to-day with a very simple idea in place - this is the idea that there are three main groups of Americans - white people, black people and Hispanics.

Now, white Americans got tagged with the moniker "Anglos" or "Anglo Americans" about ten years ago by the news media like CNN. It didn't stick and we're all probably better off by not having a label.

Blacks, around the same time got the title "African Americans", which has taken. It is a fine label, although I have a deep suspicion that this was established by white professorial types. I don't use it. Too many syllables.

Then the third "group" is Hispanics, which are now often called "Latinos". The term "Hispanic" was used to refer to the fact that Hispaniola, the eastern half of the island that is Haiti and the Dominican Republic, is where Columbus landed. I never really understood this, but the term took with me.

So, this is how most Americans see the ethno-racial landscape around them. Buried within this description is a much more nuances, complicated set of perceptions - admiration, fears, misunderstanding, enjoyment, unity and a million other things. I am more or less free of seeing the world through generalizations, and look at people as people. There exists in me some vestiges of the society I grew up in, but I would count it as a significant change in my person that I don't function with standard American racial perceptions in place, for the most part.

70% of the US is white, about 16% is Hispanic and 14% black. When Hispanics grew more numerous than blacks, I remember the media getting all ablaze about what it meant. It's sort of funny to think back on this.

Additionally, American Muslims outnumbered American Jews for the first time in the late 1990's. There was a small murmur about this, as well.

For the most part, I have been an interested observer in this ongoing dynamic in the US, which borders on an obsession, although key events can bring out ugly thoughts. If I am completely honest, the Los Angeles riots and 9/11 were difficult days for everyone and I probably felt my fair share of negative and fearful thoughts those days. But, generally, I don't live in a racial mindset.

So, how does this connect to a blog about India?

India taught me a great deal about this question of race and ethnicity and the idea of human differentiation in general. In a very Indian way, India is confusing on this subject. It is at once the most diverse-yet-unified land I have ever seen, where people of all walks of life go about their business in an incredibly diverse nation with remarkable freedom from strife - yet - there is a constant undercurrent of caste, religion, class, state allegiance, ethnicity, etc. that infuses so much of life there. It's a confusing set of dynamics in India. It can be accurately described as a place of great harmony and a place of extreme dischord.

I can surely say that in India I learned once and for all that people are, in point of fact, people.

So, returning to the US has been amazing in this way.

Michael Jackson died and the American media has been feeding on the story ever since. He was a black guy who became a white guy (sort of) and spent some of his time singing about unity. But in the current American environment there are ongoing questions and subtle comments and the occasional slander across racial lines in the media about what Michael "was made to endure". Was it the beatings from his black father that made him seek an increasingly white visage, or did the white-run media and establishment push this guy to the point that they killed him - intentionally or unintentionally?

And so it goes, while they drone on and on from CNN and Fox News about this.

Yuck.

Then, there are the Hispanic people who clean our property and public spaces, watch our children and work incredibly hard in menial jobs throughout the country. And some demagogues like Pat Buchanan state that we are "under siege" and in a "state of emergency". It is with some irony that we say this, as the ancestors of these same people have been here for thousands upon thousands of years. Most Hispanics are at least partly indigenous Americans, what we have generally called "Indians".

History is funny, no? "American Indians".

Racial politics and racialism in general are like an industry here in America.

We spend time dissecting ourselves across ethnic and racial lines to a degree that is perhaps unhealthy. It's ongoing and all of the time. And until I had a chance to get away from it for a few years, I didn't realize how pervasive it is.

So, I will state that this has been a very interesting thing to witness with new eyes - America's racial climate. And all of this still goes on in a country that just elected a black President for the first time.

Interesting.

On the road again....

2009-07-17T18:07:00.001-07:00

Day 17...

We're on the road again. I am writing this from the Calatayud home, where Sarah, a faithful reader of this blog, lives. We're in Avon, Ct. Ashoka made a new friend, Snowflake, seen below. Snowflake's breed is undetermined, but he is thought to be beaglesque, at least. So, Ashoka was enjoying memories of his friend from India, Pete.

During the drive this morning we thought about what was next in the whole process. We went over what was next for the house and what is next for my work and this was generally discussed in the context of my parents trying to sell their house in Vermont. It has been 27 years that we have had the house and it has always been a part of the life we have lead. I was in eighth grade when we got it. And it has been part of our family life since then...

Here are some pictures of us there in 2006.

In the current downturn, it is possible that they may not sell it for a few years - here's to hope! ;-)

Day 16...

2009-07-16T11:18:00.000-07:00

Day 16...

I was asked what I missed about India. I am sure I will be asked this often.

My answers:

1. Having help with my life.

2. The unique and different nature of it all.

3. An excellent social life spent in good community with interesting people.

Sometimes the big questions have short and sweet answers.

Where we are

2009-07-15T17:43:00.000-07:00

Day 15...

We are at the location of the red circle.

Aidan

2009-07-14T08:23:00.000-07:00

Day 14...

I went out to look at the Camp Brookwoods site this morning to see if we get some good glimpses of the boat house or the front lawn. We found that Aidan's picture was on the front page of the camp's website. It is above. It was a nice surprise!

Vermont

2009-07-13T14:05:00.000-07:00

Day 13...

I'll let the pictures tell most of the story for this blog entry. Vermont is great. All of the photos are taken from my family's porch, right on Lake Bomoseen.

^ First, here are Uncle Bill and Aunt Sara in Philly. Aunt Sara follows the blog with some regularity, so here she is *on* the blog. Note their monstrous dog, Bonzo. Huge Rottweiler, but a nice dog. Ashoka and the kids got along famously with him.

^ Tara with my Mom and Dad.

^ On Lake Bomoseen, a gaggle of Canadian geese were swimming by. Aidan and Jonah went out to the boat to get a closer look. It's a mundane event on the lake, but an exciting one for boys returning from India.

^ The boys on the boat.

^ Aidan with binoculars.

^ Then a storm rolled in. It was breathtaking. The pictures below are of break that followed the rain and preceded sunset. Click on the images for a better view. Without a doubt, the pictures don't do justice to how amazing it was.

Then, seen below, the lake calmed to a glass-like state. Beautiful.

What follows is a sunset from another night. Unreal. Note - the thing that looks like a UFO is actually a bottom of a hummingbird feeder.

Camp Brookwoods

2009-07-12T19:03:00.001-07:00

Day 12...

We dropped Aidan off at Camp Brookwoods today. He was excited to be back and seemed very comfortable. Above is the view from the camp's front lawn, right out onto Lake Winnipesaukee, click on it for the larger version.

Here is the webcam of the front lawn of the camp, it's a great setting.

Fishes to Knishes

2009-07-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

Day 11...

It is well-known that New Yorkers are a different breed than the rest of America. It is for this reason that I would like to route you to Tony's Fish.

This is a company whose truck was in front of us as we were on the George Washington Bridge going into New York the other day.

The thing that makes this company noteworthy is their motto "Fishes to Knishes".

Just the kind of thing one can only see in New York.

I laughed out loud when I read their motto.

Vermont

2009-07-10T06:47:00.000-07:00

Day 10...

We are in Vermont now. It's great.

We had a neat experience last night. As I have stated, we have been moving around so much and living out of suitcases such that we have not really settled down and had time to let America sink in..... at least not properly.

So, last night we went to The Owl in New Haven. The picture you see below is when it was not-yet-hip. The Owl used to see chess boards and tobacco - and very little else. Back when we were dating, Tara bought me a carved Balinese chessboard from this place. Yes, a chessboard from Bali, of all places. Remember, I gave Tara a peacock feather as my first gift to her. Perhaps our entire courtship was a foreshadow of our life to-come.

Maybe.

Anyway.....

Cool, eclectic crowd, great surroundings, everyone enjoying a form of tobacco that was to their liking..... it was great. And it was smack in the middle of downtown New Haven, a once-sad area that is achieving a certain amount of regeneration, almost to the point that we really like going there. I am glad to see the change!

We just sat back as I puffed an Ashton and Tara enjoyed a wine. The people watching was good and the environment humming. Great music from the golden age of the Brat Pack - Sinatra, Sammy Davis. Awesome all around.

I turned to her and said, "Right now, I am glad to be back." It was a scene not easily replicated in India, and after we finished I was going to drive us home in our own car through streets that were generally sane.

It was nice to have that feeling. It was a bit overdue.

I also enjoyed watching baseball, I think the Yankees were playing the Minnesota Twins. It was a replay of the actual game from earlier in the day.

All things clicked together in a way that finally felt somewhat right.

To all of our friends back in India and points elsewhere on the globe - we really miss you and being back in India in so many ways. Keep enjoying yourselves!

IKEA

2009-07-09T12:48:00.000-07:00

Day 9...

OK, now things took a bit of an odd turn today.

In the ongoing effort to analyze how to redecorate our house, we went to the IKEA store today in New Haven. It's not that the place wasn't good, it was ok. Just ok. We probably won't buy anything from there for our house.

But it was the nature of the shopping experience that gets you.

They trap you.

IKEA is a Swedish company that sells minimalist, Europeanesque items at a slight discount because you have to assemble the furniture yourself. That summary is the the uninitiated, of which there are probably only a few amongst our blog readers.

Here's what I mean by "they trap you". You walk around the store, look at a few items and them walk on. If you, like we, are ready to leave about half way through the store, that's too bad. You have to walk through the rest of the store on the way to the exit.

As we walked along, it occurred to me that the business model of this company presumed that humans could be made to mimic lab rats. And they have achieved the perfect plan to achieve that - make the exit at the end of the maze.

Now, I don't begrudge anyone their business model. IKEA is a good company in many ways, for sure. But this was a bit strong handed. After the cowskin rugs (which we liked), we were ready to leave and had formed our opinion of IKEA such that we were not going to seek one out in North Carolina. But we had to walk past the greenhouse, carpets, and outdoor furniture sections before we were permitted to get out of the store. It was different.

We saw an Amish family at IKEA. I was as puzzled by their presence there as I am about why "Amish" is an option on FaceBook's pull-down menu for religious affiliation. Are they changing? I guess so.....

And where do they live in this very expensive and densely-populated state that has very little farm land?

And such was our day today.

We'll be back soon for a lengthy stay in a couple of weeks, I'll explore New Haven in greater depth. It is the city where Tara and I fell in love, so it is special to us. And it has become almost hip in the last five years, so we're really enjoying it.

Onward.....

2009-07-08T12:30:00.000-07:00

Day 8...

We have arrived in Connecticut.

A friend reached out to me and told me not to fight the difficulties I am having with the return to the Land o' Plenty. I am not ignoring them and thanks for the support and guidance about your own post-expat experience. It'll be a balance and it felt like the right thing to do, pulling back from the cynicism. And I take your point - I was definitely hard on Hyderabad and India *alot* on this blog.

Anyway, we are continuing to move forward in the journey to see family. We are in New Haven, Ct. now. This is the home of Yale University, an impressive place. The pictures are below, including of our favorite spot in the city - The Owl Pipe and Tobacco Shop. Soon to be visited by us.....

Here's an interesting observation - what is an indication that someone has never been to the Third World? Answer - they ask what kind of dog Ashoka is....

We have been asked countless times what kind of dog Ashoka is. It's hard to explain that there are millions of dogs roaming the streets of India and no one owns them and they have been breeding freely for thousands of years - or at least hundreds. In the eyes of a few people there is a general look like I was heading into a punch line of the joke. Then it clicks. But one person actually pushed and said, "But it's a mix of what two types of dog?" That's when I pull out "Well, he's actually from a breed called gali ka kutta. It's a very old Indian breed." Then the conversation and awkwardness can end.

Gali ka kutta means street dog in Hindi.

We are all well and trucking along.

The journey continues

2009-07-07T18:57:00.000-07:00

Day 7...

Writing to you from Philly, here for the night.

I have rightly received some guidance to think through my recent spates of negativity on the blog - spot on, I was getting negative. No one benefits from negativity. The US, Charlotte and my fellow Americans have always been overwhelmingly good to me..... so, enough reflections for now on their potential excesses and shortcomings.

It is true that whenever you point a finger at others, your other four are pointing back at you.

The above picture is a view that gives you a sense of what we stared at all day today.

It was a largely uneventful drive today, but I did have many hours during which to do a little soul searching on America. It is a verdant land - we enjoyed driving ourselves through the Blue Ridge Mountains and into Pennsylvania. Really nice. It is really an accomplishment to have created a country with this kind of infrastructure. Additionally, we were struck with the open spaces and the vastly lower density of humanity. There's a general feeling of openness all around.

It's calming.

In some ways, we are a little sad that life may be a bit less interesting for a while. But I came to a realization about my thinking during the drive today.

India was fascinating because it was so different. But had I only known India my whole life and my entire worldview had been formed from the perspective of someone who knew only a place like India.... I would have hungered for what America has to offer. But, alas, I was born here and the fantastic things this country offers seem mundane due to the familiar nature of it. Also, there's this extra layer of all of it still seeming somewhat non-mundane right now.

In the apartment complex next to the hotel where we stayed there is a considerable amount of young Indian people. They are here working for the Banks. I took a walk through their apartment complex at least once a day with Ashoka. I saw young Indian professionals playing tennis on the weekend. They were driving into and out of the complex in Mini Cooper cars during the week. The young women were wearing nice clothes and living independently for the first time in their lives, perhaps in a way that would have been unthinkable in India. Young guys were walking through in small groups having a good time. Others were chatting on mobile phones out on their porches.

And, without exception, they looked pretty excited to be there.

They could have been from Chennai, Mumbai, Hyderabad, Delhi - who knows. But without a doubt, they were dealing with amenities, air quality, freedom, square footage and many other things which would not have been in the realm of possibility back in India, regardless of which class and caste they may have been in back there.

It was a nice chance to reflect on America through their eyes. The US is a place that remains a major destination of choice for those seeking a better life, and for that we should feel good. This is indeed an exceptional land.

So, the emotional roller coaster has indeed launched. We're still figuring things out about how to leave behind something we enjoyed so much and learned so much from.... all the time remembering what a unique privilege it is to enjoy a sunny day with a clean sky overhead, all the wile surrounded by green trees and open spaces in America.

Thanks for the snap back to reality, my special friend.

The journey northward

2009-07-06T13:43:00.000-07:00

FROM

Day 6...

We're spending today getting prepared for our trip up north to see our families. That is tomorrow. It is a yearly migration that we make and this one promises to be as long and boring a drive as any of the prior years.

We spent the day getting the kids some new clothes, getting Aidan's forms for camp, visiting the house, and taking care of various other activities.

We will be having dinner with our friends from Hyderabad, the Gangadhars. Krishnan, Indu, Tejus and Nikil will join us at Little Italy.... oops, I meant Brixx Pizza on East Boulevard. I'll take pictures.

So, I have a moment of downtime, let me reflect on the return. Thus far, we have been both very busy, as well as very bored, but being bored in a hotel is different. You can just sack out and be in a hotel.

It has been nice in some ways. It is honestly refreshing to be in a place that is as clean as Charlotte after India. And Charlotte is very clean, even by American standards. Also, it has been good to see friends. We have always had good connections here, and it was a pleasure to see some old acquaintances. Certainly much more of that to come......

On the other hand, there is a certain ennui that we have felt since being here. Everything is the same as it was when we left, for the most part. And that is a bit.... I am not sure how to say it..... unsettling? How could everything still be the same? Doesn't everyone know that everything is different?

Sure, there are new buildings, and various kids got a good bit bigger, and David Caldwell has hair down to his shoulders (looks good, David!). But the rest of it..... the same?

It is thoughts like those which we are having but don't make sense, even to us. It's a bit strange.

Additionally, this is a place of abundance such that it borders on alarming. I mean there is no issue getting virtually *anything* here in the US. We have so much that it is also exploding many of our fellow citizens, albeit slowly. We have seen too many children since we have been back that are just sad testimonies to their parents' guidance and the larger culture's excesses. Wow.

The hotel we are in serves breakfast and dinner. We have eaten here most nights, although we enjoyed Ru San's sushi last night.

During the dinner, various of our portly compatriots settle in front of massive plates of chicken wings, fries, etc. I mentioned to Tara how imbalanced a world is that has people like we saw on the streets in India and then people such as those in front of us. She stated something that really surprised me....

"The worst part is, this isn't even dinner for these people." She stated that she believes that a mountainous plate of wings at "happy hour" is never considered the last word on eating during the average day for many of our fellow Americans.

I contested her point, a little incredulous at her idea, but she worked in the medical field and learned a great deal about such things.

So, that was depressing.

I don't want to seem negative. We are enjoying being back and there are many beautiful things for which are grateful. But certain things are screaming at us right now after being away from it for such a long time.

The house will need some work, but it actually looks great. Better than I expected.

First thing when we get back, I'll take a series of pictures for the blog's "before" effect. With Tara's big plans, virtually all of which should get completed within the first 100 days back - we should have some "after" pictures for the blog soon.

Her plans are pretty awesome, so it should work out. Among the more ambitious plans that she has is to double the width of a door off of the den. We're thinking maybe we could smash the wall out ourselves? That could be either an extremely daring and impressive effort, or the most foolhardy thing we've ever done. I believe we'll back off of that plan, but we'll see.

In all honest, we've been too distracted to really let life in the US sink back into us. I trust the observations will become a bit more meaningful as time passes.

Church

2009-07-05T12:49:00.000-07:00

We went to church this morning. It was nice to see everyone and get reconnected. During the last two years, we have been in various European churches that are more or less museums these days, as well as modern churches in India that are like attending a rock concert. It was nice to get back to a living, vital church that isn't intent on blasting your ear drums, as well as connecting with friends.

Small service, as the July 4th weekend is perhaps the number two or three vacation time for Americans.

Good to see everyone at Selwyn, see you all in August!

July 4th

2009-07-04T12:25:00.000-07:00

Independence Day - Day 5...

We spent July 4th with friends and enjoyed ourselves greatly. We made the pilgrimage to Carmel Country Club's greens to watch their fireworks display, right on the edge of our neighborhood. It was nice, but I only stayed for a few minutes, because Ashoka was freaking out. It was pretty bad, so I took him away from the event. I suppose this is all a bit much for him and huge booms and a flashing sky - well, it tipped him over the edge.

Below are some pictures of our visit to the Farmer's Market here in Charlotte. There are a few others like it, but this is the largest and this one is affiliated with the state. We really enjoyed two aspects of it - first, more people seem to be focused on organic foods than ever before, as well as "eating locally". Additionally, there are more ethnic vendors than ever before, so we can get curry leaf, lemongrass and a variety of other fresh items that we want.

Very nice.

Check out the pictures:

^ There is a solid Thai population that sells flowers around Charlotte, including here. They also sell uptown, perhaps I'll feature in a future blog entry during this "100 Days Back" section.

^ Produce of ever sort and type.

^ I have been purchasing chow chow from Ms. Virginia Hoyle for the last 15 years. She is a nice woman from the countryside.

For the uninitiated, chow chow is an indigenous relish made only in the south, and it is tasty. And often very hot. Ms. Virginia also makes a variety of other condiments that one almost never hears of anymore (and I had never heard of before we moved south). As an example, she also makes Dixie Radish and pickled okra. She places the products in glass Ball jars, also a dying art of a bygone era.

She had a bout with cancer a few years back and we were unsure if she would be at the market after our two year hiatus. We were glad to see her.

It is a fair assumption Ms. Virginia Hoyle's products have never been featured on the web before.

^ One of our favorites is "Fat Boys Produce", as seen here. The vendors do seem a bit overweight, but perhaps no less so than their customers. It is a constant source of amazement to us, the girth of the American public. Really quite shocking.

You can see Tara closing the deal with a vendor, in the background.

So, there you have it. We were excited to go back to the farmer's market.

Good keeping company with friends throughout the 4th, as well. And nice to see Gerry and Sharron!

Loads of snaps

2009-07-03T13:22:00.000-07:00

Day 4...

^ One last snap of Whisper Valley. We miss it.

^ I found this on the camera - Ashoka looking buff, the day we shipped him out.

Here are some pictures from our trip to Paris and during the first few days back in Charlotte.
*******

^ In a park

^ Jonah with a hot chocolate

^ Aidan and toast

^ Tara and seltzer

^ Notre Dame

^ Jonah praying for something

^ Notre Dame

^ Stained glass in Notre Dame

^ On the Seine

Below, the beauty of Paris.....

^ Aidan holding up the Eiffel Tower.

^ Jonah holding up the Eiffel Tower.

^ Why is this famous?

^ Last time when I came, pictures were not allowed of the Monna Lisa.

^ Last supper.

^ Aidan in the Louvre

^ Liam with an Easter Island statue

^ Venus de Milo

^ Tara seeming very Parisian

^ From the top of the Tower, and below are shots taken from the top....

^ A mini Statue of Liberty. There is actually a third in the world, as well....

^ I told the family that we would end the two year adventure on the top of the Eiffel Tower, so here is that. Drinking champagne and enjoying it. Our friend Krishnan said that this observance at the top of the Eiffel Tower should be seen as a comma. Perhaps an ending, perhaps a comma, or perhaps welcoming in the next adventure?

__________________

Many of you know we are from Charlotte, but have never seen the city. Below are some pictures of the uptown area. It is a small uptown area and a pretty nice one.

^ Tryon Street

^ Old and the new...

^ Lunch, I have always loved this small Japanese grill in Latta Arcade.

^ A typical Charlotte look to these buildings. There is a big emphasis on looking sleek, glassy, modern.

^ A recent addition and an ugly one is "Epicenter". It is a mess of development intent on fulfilling every need. It is not my favorite. It has been built since we left.

^ At the corner of Trade and Tryon are four statues, represnting North Carolina. One is a settler-looking white woman holding a baby aloft. A second is a strong black man with a hammer. The third is a dusty-looking propsector guy (Charlotte was founded during a gold rush), and the fourth is a modern-day accountant type. More on these later, they are revealing pictures of how the Carolinians see themselves.

^ I took the train home. Yes, the train! This has been out in since we left, in Charlotte's never-ending search for becoming a "big city".

^ The light rail.

^ All types of citizens use it. This was pretty early, so not many folks on it.

^ Clean, efficient.

^ I enjoyed the "Rider's Code of Conduct". It has various rules, most amusing among them is a reminder not to "Excrete bodily fluids at or on another person on the vehicle."

Well, that is enough for now. I will put on more Paris pictures tomorrow.

A day at the office

2009-07-03T04:33:00.000-07:00

Day 3...

I went to the office today. I also wandered around uptown Charlotte for an hour or so, seeing what had changed.

Many things had changed..... but, interestingly - a whole bunch is exactly the same. Just.... the same.

Being in Charlotte over the past several years has been all about seeing rapid change. There are always new buildings coming up. And in recent years it has been the thing to have new condos come up and people to live in the middle of uptown. This is a huge change from the sleepy, sort of lame uptown area that we had a mere decade ago. Uptown is almost hip. Almost.

Now there are also trains running around the city, the famed "light rail" that was only a plan when we left. I took the light rail today - it was actually pretty good!

Many of the same names and places and faces are here. People still wear blue shirts and khaki pants almost as if it is a mandated uniform from the companies.

And the place got along just fine without us.

It was interesting.

There has been a new monstrosity built in uptown Charlotte, called Epicenter. It is a mess of bars, sushi restaurants, a multiplex movie theater and a variety of other things all thrown together by an architect who was not of a clear mind. I have some pictures, will show you soon. Until then, below is an artists rendering.

I took some other pictures and will get them developed at a drug store today, then post them tomorrow. That includes Paris.

Tara and the boys are doing well. They got into the house yesterday while I was uptown. And thus begins the long journey to making our house whole again, which will also be recorded on this blog. Tara is excited.

Resurrecting our life here....

2009-07-01T03:55:00.000-07:00

Trade and Tryon Street intersection in Charlotte. This is one of the four statues at that intersection, a 19th century settler-looking woman holding a baby aloft.

Day 2...

Today was an interesting day. We started the day with no cell phones and I had no laptop. It is amazing how not having these things causes one to feel so exposed and out of touch.

Tara and I couldn't talk to each other when we were not together, and I had no idea who might be e.mailing me from work (for me, no cell means no Black Berry).

Finally, Tara got a new phone and I got my new BB. It's amazing the sense of relief that I had. What was once a luxury seems to have achieved necessity status in this new era. Interesting.

We picked Ashoka up at the kennel today. He is doing well. He was excited beyond manageability to see the family. He is staying in the hotel with us.

We spoke with friends and made a few connections, but the day was such we couldn't do anything social. We're sad to have missed the Skibinski's, we'll see them in late July or August.

An observation for the day. The infomercials I mentioned yesterday do not stop. I thought they were only a middle-of-the-night thing. There seems to be an endless focus on people making easy money, losing weight and regaining their libidinal powers. It is a bit weird. We never had cable TV here in America, so having it while here in the hotel is different for us. Perhaps they have a different product than our relatives, etc. - because we have never seen anything like this. Just depressing.

I will always include a positive observation, as there is plenty to notice here that is positive. Everything looks different, but this will pass as we get used to everything here..... So, while our eyes are still fresh, here is a nice thing - most people say hello to you. Strangers.

We see other people in the elevator and they say good morning. People who jog past you on the street wave and say hello. People from whom you are buying something greet you with a smile. The staff in the hotel says hello, but in the authentic way. I have not been called "sir" once in the hotel.

Everyone is quick with a greeting here!

I think Americans in general are like this. The south is reputed to be a very hospitable area of America and Charlotte has a generally positive ethos amongst its inhabitants, for the most part, thus we have been struck anew by this very nice aspect of life here.

It is very different than India and perhaps unique in the world, this thing of saying hello and smiling at strangers.

I really missed that.

Because we have become used to India, where it is not like this, or people greeted us with too much adoration (uncomfortable in and of itself), we are not the ones coming out with the greeting first. It is something that we lost.

I will say hello to ten strangers tomorrow.

For anyone reading this in the Charlotte area, send us an e.mail and let's connect. Probably will only be over the phone, as today is "driver licenses and laptop day". But it'll be good to hear from you!